Cats, Regrets, and a Dash of Dumbass
by Marionette Ame
Summary: Urokai's used to making bad decisions. That's his whole life summed up after all, but now he's made one that takes the cake. He's made a contract with Frankenstein. (RaizelxUrokaixEdian, GradeusxRayga, RozariaxClaudia)
1. Chapter 1

Two years. It's been two goddamned years since that, human, that disgusting scientist or _whatever_ _he called himself_, arrived at Lukedonia and started leeching off of Ser Raizel like a parasite. It's not that he hates humans. How could he? He's an Agvain. Rather, he just hates that Ser Raizel cares more for this human than him, _than them_. That he cares more for someone that only stays to protect himself overEdian who's given _everything_ up for him. So he hates Frankenstein, no matter how stupidly attractive he may be.

Oh, Urokai didn't really care much for Lagus' plans at first, he still doesn't agree completely now, not with how it includes getting rid of the noblesse. Yet, it's becoming more and more tempting, though he's sure Zarga won't be happy with him if he does join. Neither of them have said anything to the lord about it, or of how Roctis is already working with Lagus, and of how Gradeus seems to be spiralling down deeper and deeper still into a pit of self-destruction. Slowly dying over his mother and brother being in eternal sleep despite it having occured over a millenia prior. The guilt eats at Urokai, not as much as Dragus does, nor as much as how the Agvain soul weapon slowly drives him insane, but it is there. Edian's situation is the worst though. He doesn't know how he stays quiet about her mind being controlled, doesn't know how he hasn't revealed it to the lord, but he knows why Gradeus doesn't, and he knows why Zarga doesn't utter a word despite his disapproval, despite his disgust.

It's because Gradeus wants to do something so bad that the lord himself will put him into eternal sleep. Committing sin isn't his goal. He just wants to die, and in a way where he can justify that he's a horrible person. So even though Gradeus hates Edian's state more than him, even though he's terrified of his own actions, of the fact that he is sick and cannot control his own body at times, he acts as though he is fine. He acts as though he's the villain. As though he'll become one if he pretends hard enough. The worst part of it all is that it's working.

And Zarga. He only averts his eyes for Urokai. He does it because he cares for him and even though it tears him apart, he doesn't tell Zarga to stop. Doesn't tell him that he shouldn't sacrifice everything for him because he's pathetic and snaps at everything and has never been suitable for the role of the Agvain gaju.

Urokai isn't even putting himself down, it's merely the truth that he was never meant to be the gaju of his beloved clan. That position was meant for his twin sister, Arakei. Had been hers at one point because their father too, like him, hadn't been suitable for the position. They weren't suitable, not because they were lacking, but instead because they didn't miss one thing. Their sanity.

Arakei wasn't a cruel person, but she wasn't sane, and he had loved her more than anything, still loved her more than anything. His elder sister, the gaju before his father and only not in position anymore because she was too sickly, had been the greatest gaju their clan had ever had, and she had been missing enough screws in her head from the moment she was born that their father had raised her with thousands of rules compared to he and Arakei's ten. Yet Arakei is in eternal sleep just like their father, not from murder, but from Gradeus' body that can't be controlled, from Gradeus who he doesn't blame, only pities. His elder sister sleeps too. She fought, not out of duty, but for her beloved sister, Mergé Ennea di Gentilus, the previous lord, and only failed due to her miscarriage. Only failed because the previous lord could not handle her death and soon joined her in eternal sleep. Only failed because her sacrifice was in vain.

And just how could any sane person deal with Dragus' hunger? Deal with the whispers of countless gaju forced into insanity because they weren't meant for the role. Deal with the agony that coursed through the bearer of the Agvain soul weapon, because it's feelings were theirs too, and never be able to hate it or their role, _because_ _how can you hate your own clan_? How can you hate the children of your own family, since for every Agvain that lives there are three who have passed before reaching twenty, and that is true even for the line of the gaju.

So no he isn't putting himself down. He's but a shell of his former self since Dragus came to him, and Zarga knows that. Knows it because he's a Siriana, and they, the Agvains, and the Kravei are close. Close because they are all dragons in one form or another, because their instincts try to claw out from the pathetic bodies they maintain to burst out and appear as how they really should be. Close, because they don't find it fearful or hard. So Urokai can't tell him to stop, not because he's selfish, but because he already has for thousands of things and has been refused everytime.

It's part of the reason why he stands before Ser Raizel's manor alone. He doesn't want Zarga to worry for him. To make his brows furrow or for him to look at him with that concern-filled face. To offer to accompany him or at least to send Gradeus (not Edian because even though he loves her he can't face her wrath if she is freed from her mind control just yet) with him in that quiet voice of his.

Urokai is small compared to the manor, and still would be small even if he was in the form of a hydra. After all, he knows his hate and anger makes him inferior, so even if he looks grand, looks imposing, he's nothing more than a fool trying to play a role not meant for him. If Ser Raizel did love anyone it would not be him. Could not be him. For he's too poisonous and a relationship like that would never work out so he always thinks of how it would be good for the noblesse to love Edian one day.

He ignores himself.

As he goes to Ser Raizel, a route that has never changed from the first time his elder sister brought him and Arakei to visit the Madam Noblesse, Ma'am Crespo Iglesias di Xuvunue, and her two sons, he holds the tiny grey kitten close to him. She's a calm little thing, and had been in his darling Xhama's first litter. He's already weaned her off, and Ser Raizel is sure to adore her.

Honestly, this wasn't planned. The idea of letting the noblesse raise a cat? Horrifying. Would he even be able to do such a thing? Probably not, but he can help out there, Urokai's not bad at teaching things. That's what his clan's elders say anyway; apparently he got the skill from his father. Not too surprising since Vaktel Agvain had been in charge of the education received by the Agvain children about their clan when he was still alive.

The first thing he sees is Ser Raizel standing by the window like always. The second thing is that the wood panelling of the whole room has been replaced, just like that of the hallways he walked through, and that everything smells fresher. The third is that Frankenstein is glaring at the sofa with some cloth clenched in his hands, and that he is soaked.

Perhaps he came at the wrong time.

Frankenstein doesn't notice him, and he's not sure if he should be insulted, or uncaring, after all, Ser Raizel has already felt his presence. The noblesse looks at him, or so he wishes.

His eyes focus on the kitten in his arms and even Urokai can tell that he's intrigued. Surprising since he usually can't differentiate all the minute expressions of his. Oh he tries. Tries and tries and tries. And he fails. He hasn't given up yet, but that doesn't make things any better, or any easier.

He moves forward and his girl mewls at Ser Raizel's movement. He pauses, and stops entirely. Is it out of confusion, or hesitation? Urokai can't tell.

"What idiocy have you brought this time?"

Unfortunately Frankenstein seems to have noticed him, and he bites back a 'Finally.' because he doesn't intend to start anything. There's no need to get worked up, or to act like a fool. So that means he can't get provoked.

He tries his best to give a curt reply.

"She isn't idiocy," Urokai says, and he's already failed his goal because even he can hear the annoyance in his voice, "She's much smarter than the Kertias. Rayga has failed to find her several times."

He wants to leave the manor the moment he finishes speaking because he's said something stupid again. Rayga probably wouldn't be pleased to learn that he had divulged that he played hide-and-seek with cats either. Especially not the fact that he lost. There's no chance it'll stay hidden with Frankenstein here. Everyone knows of the spars that occur, even the younger ones are aware.

The way Ser Raizel's face is blank as always doesn't help, and he doesn't even look at Frankenstein. If it wasn't for how he's always slipping up like this (around Edian the most so why did he mess up here?) he'd have ran the moment he finished speaking. Now he simply ignores his actions and lets his girl down on the sofa that Frankenstein has a vendetta against. He hears angered words behind him as he does but it's little more than a buzzing in the background.

"Frankenstein." Ser Raizel speaks and it's a calm warning that makes Urokai glad he wasn't listening because nothing good could have been said. Maybe he could have weathered taunts against himself (_lies_), but not against anybody else.

His girl stumbles around on the damp furniture, constantly lifting a paw after a few steps and looking to him in indignant confusion. She's sweet, no doubt about it, but spoiled. He doesn't mind. She likes being carried and he likes carrying her.

When she leaps off of the sofa he feels a foreign cold choking against his throat. Ser Raizel is horrified, but it turns to a gentle caress from the breeze that children are prone to feel as she lands on the ground more nimbly than any noble could.

Watching as she explores the ground, and trying not to laugh at how Ser Raizel's flinches when she stretches on his foot, he suppresses the glow of his eyes. It's improper and all he wants is to be liked, so even though holding it back hurts so bad he wants to cry, he pretends that the flow of the snake on his shoulders hasn't become a heavy chain. Pretends that he doesn't feel eyes taking over his body and consuming it whole.

Then he almost does cry when his girl stops in front of Frankenstein. She's looking at the bastard expectantly, the way she does whenever she wants to be picked up, and it's a bit too obvious that she's taken a liking to him. Urokai doesn't like this. Of course he doesn't. But he hates the way she's ignored more because she's deserving of more. The resentment in his voice is clear but nothing can be done about it.

"She wants you to pick her up."

Disgust flashes over Frankenstein's face and he feels like his stomach is a pot, or perhaps a cauldron. It's boiling and threatening to spill so he screams at his fire to calm itself. The response is it flaring up angrier, but then he can feel the pain and it diminishes into a spark, quivering and apologising like a child. He wants to comfort his fire because it's not its fault or burden to bear, yet the time isn't right. Though is the time ever right for anything?

"Why must I do that? It's a cat, nothing more, nothing less."

Faster than he can force himself quite or Ser Raizel can let the feathery (itchy) disapproval over the entire room, he replies, "_She_. Izil isn't an it."

He regrets it.

"Izil? You would give your cat such a stupid name?"

_He doesn't regret it._

"I suppose that as a human you wouldn't know much. It was my grandfather's name." Urokai doesn't even stop his sneer, unable to tell what the electricity in his ears or the mist that blinds his eyes are.

Izil shouldn't have to hear this blasphemy. She's only a child and even if Frankenstein doesn't like cats he shouldn't be so, so, _rude. _He could have just refused. Politely!

"You named a female cat after your grandfather? What sort of twisted scenario is that?" Frankenstein doesn't have even a hair out of place compared to how his fire is burning with him and how he's tearing himself up.

Half shouting, half trying not to wail because the man that smiles in his elder sister's paintings is someone he's never met, his words start to turn incoherent. He says something about how it's a fitting name. How his grandfather was mistaken to be everything his girl is.

He practically sounds like a child when he says, "It's a traditional name for both sexes!" Not because he's wrong, but because he's broken the promise he made to himself and how it feels like he's throwing a tantrum. How he wants the burning warmth of suns upon his skin rather than the gentle cold on his neck.

It continues on like this. Frankenstein growing annoyed as Urokai winds himself up tighter and tighter. Goes on and on until Ser Raizel says "Stop."

Frankenstein ignores him, and the fog in his eyes has grown so thick that he can barely care of the arrogance that they both show. Can barely notice Izil's distressed voice by his feet.

"Perhaps," he says, voice cold, "We should make a contract. Maybe then you'll understand that humans aren't useless."

"Maybe," Urokai says, unable to tell him that he knows humans are amazing. That if his elder sister could love them so dearly, if she could take one as a lover, they couldn't be inferior. He doesn't though, because his emotions control him and he can't articulate anything more than insults. He can't remember everything he thinks about when he's calm. "We should."

Ser Raizel doesn't even stop them them as Urokai lets blood flow from his fingers as if he wants to die rather than make a contract. He doesn't stop them as Frankenstein cringes at the fire in his blood that must surely burn his throat, or as the blood in his (it tastes like metal and it's _horrible_ but the influx of emotions is even worse because they're so clear and vivid and _if he likes cats than why did he act like such an asshole?_) makes Dragus sob and tug at him. He's hungry but Urokai can't feed him now, at least not what he wants.

Only when he manages to push all the new emotions down do his actions become clear to him. Ser Raizel is staring at them and Izil is crying as Frankenstein starts to speak.

He picks her up and runs.


	2. Chapter 2

"Arakei _please_."

Urokai begs her on his knees. His heart won't stop beating (it's unnatural and he wants to cry but he always wants to cry) and it makes his voice come out shaky. _Weak_. Still he continues on for hours and hours even as his voice is hoarse and he can barely speak. Even as his control grows weak and Dragus claws at him, stomach rumbling. Even as he can't keep the emotions in his head separate (some strange choking silver tight around his neck comforts him while a cold little cloud whispers threats in his ear). Yet she still stares at him with the look in her eyes that turns the world into a wintery wasteland and makes his fire die down to embers.

"No," she says.

His heart finally stops. The blood in his mortal vessel turns to snow and ice.

"Remember Urokai," she warns him, snarling and ready to laugh.

"Don't think you need love to live. Don't think you need me to live."

Urokai stays kneeling even when Arakei is gone.

Her braids fly in the wind that blows. Her clothes flutter. Yet she doesn't come to pull him up or touch him. She looks just like she did a millennia and a half ago but now she's a head shorter than him and doesn't tease him on his height.

Maybe he shouldn't humour these hallucinations. Shouldn't let himself fall apart and be toyed by with his own head.

Still, he stays.

He spends too much time letting words that mean no harm tear him into pieces, and he never follows the advice that's painstakingly drawn out of him with cupped hands.

Nobles don't come to this part of the Agvain Rose Garden often. Not when the soil here grows rich with teeth and thorns that snap at those they don't like. Grief and resentment live here, belong here. Magic not born of fire lingers here (the story of that Elenor is of a different time, and not one he can tell).

Eyes closed and wetter than they have any right to be, he wants to remain in this spot for so very long. Wants to but can't because he can hear the land shifting as someone who doesn't belong here, as someone who has no right to be here, comes his way. Only because of that does Urokai stand.

When he feels his head ring softly and fingers tremble with a gentle warmth, he realises who it is before he sees them. Yet, only when Frankenstein is brushing the dirt off of his suit (as he called it) do his warning bells ring. They are late, and he wipes his eyes, frantic, but he can't hide what has already been seen.

Maybe if he claws them out he will be in situations less damning since he would at least have an excuse ready.

"You were crying."

Frankenstein says it as if he knew from the start. There's no surprise, and no attempt to ridicule him. He simply stands there, staring; so still that it's obvious he's restraining himself like he would around a terrified mouse.

Urokai understands the light brushing of antennae on his face perfectly. It's the same sensation he would get when his father held him as he cried after being scared by some insignificant thing or another. The same one that he had felt whenever his sisters would comfort him after the jokes and insults he endured in the company of other nobles for his 'inelegant' tendencies. The one from Zarga which makes him smile because it's a reminder that prevents him from wanting eternal sleep in a manner more intimate than that which he has now.

It's what assaults him whenever he accompanies Edian these days. (it makes him want to scream. to tear something, someone, _himself_, apart because he's unworthy of her worry. how can she look at him, feel for him, be there for him, even as she suffers so deeply? how can she care for someone who turns a blind eye to her pain and lets her drown? why does she still think of him in the way she always has, in the way where she would hug him and comfort him, now that he has abandoned her in such a way? even now when he is unworthy of her? how can she still love him as he does her?)

Concern is normal, but not from someone who so surely hates him (his own blood hums in delight at finally being so close again and his fire is sparking more than Rozaria's spells) so he can't help the confusion he feels at the softness of the antennae that flutter against his lips and cheek and lashes. That only comes from something genuine (from one who truly cares), and it tells him more than he wants to know. Tells him things in the same way the calm of the roses do and the knowledge settles deep in him.

He doesn't know what to make of it. Doesn't know what to say or do to feel like himself again. _Another lie he eats out of fear_ (Dragus sobs when he does this, and it makes his fire fade with how much it wants to comfort the child) and _why_ does he keep fooling himself like this? Why does he take routes that ensure he will never see Frankenstein? Why run whenever he feels his presence? _Why deny the contract when it makes him feel whole_?

He sighs, and Frankenstein flinches. He can't stop his body from slumping either and it isn't the posture a noble should have but he cant bring himself to care. He's so very tired.

"You," he says, contemplating, "really are a good person aren't you?" and lets go of the hold he has on their contract as his eyes meet Frankenstein's.

Immediately he's struck with screaming agony but it doesn't deafen him like it surely would any other noble. The screaming, the wailing, the pain that trembles through his bones, is just like Dragus. They only phrase their words better.

Urokai doesn't know what it is that brings such suffering, but it only makes the ache deeper, more heartfelt. If Frankenstein can be so, _calm_, even with the screeching that forever echoes in his ears, than how subpar he must be. If he can do what Urokai cannot so easily, what use is he of to Lukedonia? (to Edian? what is he to her? 'tell me._ i beg of you please tell me_. i need you, but how can you still want me?')

"You're doing it again."

He jolts at Frankenstein's words, and there's no way he can understand this man because he can feel how good he is. Can feel the soft warmth that cradles him like a parent to a child, but that's not why. It's because his bond wraps around him gently. It won't startle him this way. Won't make him lash out, and they pulsate. With the soft glow of the plants his sister's room is covered in, with the soft glow of the moon on a cloudy night, with the soft glow of his father's eyes as he smiled, the bonds comfort him.

This kindness hurts him.

"And what," he asks, unable to even sound defiant, only as if he's given up, "am I doing?"

"Hurting yourself."

Frankenstein glares at him and he doesn't know how to react. He knows he is, but it's normal isn't it? Everyone is like that. And yet the way the bond flares up at him has his eyes widening because it's obvious that's not what he should have thought.

"Everytime you've slipped up and let your feelings through you were crying. _And you just keep on going like that_. Just round and _round,_ and it gets worse everytime."

His words get sharper, and Urokai knows that he won't ever be able to use them as weapons as this human can. Not when he can feel the anger in his bond.

"I thought that nobles were supposed to be in control of themselves and everything else but the only thing that's controlling you is grief. It's not even what you feel towards Raizel so what is it? Who is making you break apart like this? _Who could you possibly love more than the Noblesse_?"

Urokai smiles at that, barely, but it's enough to make Frankenstein stop. Such easy questions to answer. Such a nosy human. Yet, he doesn't mind. It's somewhat nice to be scolded by a concerned person who pretends that they're only annoyed by something inconveniencing them.

He really is fond of this contract that lets him know what at least one person feels among his countless failures to do so with others.

"I love my family, but they are dead, even when they talk to me they are dead," Urokai says, and the way the bond, the way Frankenstein, shivers at his lifeless voice hurts.

"I love my clan, and I love Dragus. Edian–" his smile widens and he can hear the pain in his own voice– "I love as much as I do Ser Raizel."

"What do you mean that they talk to you? How can you talk to the dead?" He doesn't know why Frankenstein asks something he already knows the answer to. Maybe he would if he could think clearly, but now he's just numb. He can't even bring himself to hate him, after all.

"It means that I see and hear things that aren't there."

Finally he moves, turning his back and walking to the Agvain mansion. Frankenstein doesn't follow him and he's too tired to call out. So he lets the bond do it instead.

Shock filters through, but now he comes, and Urokai can't help the small burst of joy that freshens him. He's never enjoyed being treated like a child.

Frankenstein says nothing at the snapping roses, or at the rivers of lava that he sees. That he feels the heat of.

"They like you," he states, and Frankenstein knows what he means.

"How can that possibly be a good thing?"

"Well," he replies, almost amused, "If they didn't they would eat you, or try to. It's horrible how everything of my clan seems to love you."

_Including me. _

How can he not? If they had never made this contract, never felt his emotions so intimately, would he understand him? No, he wouldn't have and it's scary thinking about it. It's not like he's changed, or revealed anything new, but, he _knows_ Frankenstein now. Knows him and though he's tried to keep away, hasn't been able to prevent the creeping vines of affection for him from settling in. Hasn't been able to stay his distance from the warmth that beckons at him.

He is possessive of his bonded, and though he doesn't show it (don't go. stay with me in the agvain territory you're not ser raizel's. i won't say i know you best because you aren't mine, you aren't anyone's, but i can feel what you want and he doesn't. i can feel you in a way nobody else ever could.), he's aware that it's still felt. That it's reciprocated.

The intimacy of their bond is strange. It isn't normal to be this close after only making it and doing nothing else (staring up at the night sky and opening his bond to feel him doesn't count because he was sleeping. because he didn't know.). It isn't normal for two who hated each other so deeply to feel as such. As, friends? Family? Yet they are. Is it because neither have anything left of them? Or is it the fact that Frankenstein is a good person who enjoys helping, and that he is the largest problem he has ever come upon? He is sure the way that he grasps at him, the way that his thirst is gone in his company, must be part of it.

When Urokai opens the door to the Agvain mansion for him, he still doesn't know anything. Only that he is his bonded. He watches as he enters, and follows after, aware that he doesn't need to explain the significance of this.

Frankenstein already understands; only an Agvain, and those with them, can enter.

Yet it has another meaning. One far more important.

Urokai is asking him for help.


	3. Chapter 3

Frankenstein paces up and down in front of where Urokai's sprawled, face-up, on his bed. Well, bed isn't really right when it's actually just a few blankets on the floor with some pillows tossed on top but, he's never cared for those fancy beds everyone else likes. It's not like they sleep often, and if he wants some fun he's not going to do it in his own room. Fun is different from love after all. It's also essential to it but, it isn't what he's thinking of right now (it's not in the way that he wants to be with Edian and Ser Raizel. not in the way he wants to call out to Edian when she's walking away from him. not how he can't get himself to ever say what he really intends to with Ser Raizel).

He's so _bored_ like this though. All Frankenstein's been doing for the past few hours is thinking aggressively. He loves his bonded. Really! He realised that when he regained his energy and still cared for Frankenstein some weeks or four ago, but, watching his legs move is dizzy. The ceiling is bland too.

Frankenstein stops and sits besides him sighing. He grins, comforting him through the bond, and lets the tendrils drape over him. Izil shifts from where she was curled up by his neck to his bonded's lap and he can finally move his head.

"So Roctis is covering up for his daughter, Gradeus wants someone to kill him, Zarga just wants you to be happy, Edian is mind controlled, Lagus is affected by some, _bloodstone_, or whatever, and you're just a spoiled brat?"

Urokai laughs at that. His bonded has basically been insulting him like this for the past few weeks and though he'd gotten angry in the beginning (and the middle) he's okay with it now. There's no real heat in them, and he enjoys the exchange. It's not the same kind of nice as when Edian would speak with that foul mouth of hers but, it's just as fun.

There's a strange charm in being able to be yourself around someone. In them accepting that you aren't just a first impression, or that you aren't the caricature they've built of you. Of being able to say things and knowing that if you're wrong they won't turn their back on you.

Plus, Frankenstein lets him play with his hair and that's the only thing that anyone has to do to win him over. It's _fun_!

Okay no, that's a joke. It's not as simple as that. Rather, it's the way he pets Izil, stroking her back and rubbing her ears without touching her paws because she hates that. Or the way he gently teases her nose. How he engages with her play and doesn't get annoyed. It's, the same as what he wants, the same as how Frankenstein treats him, so of course he can't hate him. Not anymore. He, had wanted someone other than Zarga to care and, now he has that! He has his bonded! So without a doubt, he will treasure him and appreciate all he does. It is the first rule, and the one he always keeps in mind, _si vis amari, ama_. So he will treat his bonded as well as he can. Keep his anger away from him, bottled up, and remain calm.

.

Frankenstein smiles as Urokai tries to stop his laughter, rolling over to his stomach, wheezing. Once, he had been of the opinion that nobles just weren't as capable of this sort of behaviour as humans, but, that had been proven wrong at their initial meeting. The anger that was so obvious on his face then, it had changed his idea to one assuming that maybe nobles just felt things less. It would make sense too, with Rayga's face barely flickering when Gradeus kissed him, or Raizel never faltering. Yet that was wrong too.

Urokai was great at hiding things. He didn't spill a word about their plans of betrayal after all. Yet, he should have known even before that. Why else would Gradeus be upset when he was with Rayga? Somehow, he never noticed it.

No noble did either. Rayga didn't even notice his own lover's pain, as obvious as it really was, and nobody treated Urokai with care.

Once he thought his bonded (Urokai insisted that he call him that) was just always rude. And arrogant. And a bit of a stupid idiot. Actually, Urokai most definitely was an absolute idiot, but in a different way from his previous assumption. Urokai was, _clingy_. He'd take any sign of affection and latch on like a slimy fish. It came off just as disgusting as well (to most anyway. he just found it pitiful. sad. _maybe_ cute.).

At first Frankenstein wanted to break off the contract but, he was crying.

When he had come to do that, Urokai had been crying like a child (like Tesamu did whenever he messed up an experiment. or when he misplaced some notes. even he himself as a child would be comforted by his father, but Urokai didn't have that. he didn't have someone who could wipe away his tears with a gentle hand so he had to do it himself. there was Zarga, and Edian, but not yet. soon. but not yet.) and that made his heart twinge. It really didn't help that he knew his bonded had been carefully trying to understand him when he seemed to think Frankenstein was asleep. Nor did the way that Urokai avoided him, out of fear that he would end up caring. It was just that specific action that prevented him from doing it. From saying 'get rid of this bond'.

"Hey," Urokai says, calming down.

He rolls over onto his back, and with his head on Frankenstein's lap so that he is looking straight up at him. Izil licks his cheek and he smiles.

"I get that you're worried about what to do but, shouldn't you be spending a bit more time with Ser Raizel? He's still the one who helped you."

The concern in Urokai's eyes is obvious, even though he's making sure his face doesn't show it. This is the side of his bonded that has made Frankenstein care for him wholly. He can be considerate, as long as he tries, and it is sweet (even sweeter are the tendrils that he always extends out to him through the bond. they're gentle and try to comfort him, even as they thrum with an excitement that is, _so_ Urokai. he hopes to witness his bonded being himself one day. that would be an honour.) like the tea that Raizel drinks.

"He will be fine, and I bring you over to visit him often don't I? That's more than he's used to already."

Cool relief floods his bond and it feels nice, yet it also freezes him. How broken must one's affairs be if they think that spending a bit of time with a friend is straining?

Urokai grins.

"So have you figured anything out? Or are you still shocked by my selfishness?"

Izil purrs loudly compared to her silence before; she is satisfied. He pets Urokai a few times before stopping completely, a side effect of having pet Izil for so long, and answers as his bonded makes a face at him

"We must inform the lord. There's really nothing else to it. "

He feels disappointment that isn't his and Urokai pouts slightly.

"Are you sure?"

It masks the fear, but his emotions show in his eyes and Frankenstein sighs. Playing with Urokai's hair (it's an intimate action. so intimate that he's not sure why he's allowed to do it because Urokai flinches whenever anyone touches it. and gets angry at them. _shouts_. but it pleases him. he's allowed to do things others are not. he matters to someone who is considered easy to know but hard to get to know. he cares for him so it makes him happy that it is returned. it's intoxicating almost, and better than that of Raizel's.) he tries to comfort him through the bond.

It's not something he really understands how to do. Urokai explains what it is well enough, and it's easy to do what he wants when he's being guided, but otherwise, he doesn't know. Despite that he reaches out anyway.

Closing his eyes –_sighing_– he heads towards that bright light. That screaming white that seems like it will burn him to ashes. Yet, as he nears it, there's no unbearable heat, there's no blinding in his eyes. Just a soft ball that shies away from the darkness and glows as he leans against it.

"Oh! That's-" Urokai sounds shocked, jolting. Izil makes a discontent "meow" and settles back down with her master.

He still hasn't managed to give her to Raizel, stuttering over his words every time, and saying something completely different to what he means. The way he manages to trip over simple sentences is cute, and so is the way he blushes. Ser Raizel's blush whenever Urokai left iss adorable too. They are both so obvious that even Rayga has started to anticipate the results, and the Kertia can't even notice Gradeus flirting with him despite having maintained their relationship for centuries now.

…Gradeus is in a relationship. One that leaves him feeling neglected, enough so that he started to think too deeply into his past. That or he was always suicidal and his relationship was just making it worse. Either way, there was a way to help him without telling the lord about it. Preferably they could have just gone to the lord from the start but, Urokai doesn't want that so he has refrained from it.

"So Zarga isn't involved with the traitors anymore right?"

"Yeah. He was happy when I said I would figure out a way to leave without being suspicious. Like it's easy for him because everyone knows he's a lazy ass who only cares about kids. Why're you asking?"

Urokai stares up at him, curious, and Frankenstein can see the resemblance he has with Izil whenever she paws at Raizel. She finds the Noblesse intriguing.

"If Rayga started treating Gradeus the way he feels, would he still betray Lukedonia?"

Urokai blinked once, then twice, then a third time (he was so dumb that it was cute). Then his eyes finally lit up and he got up, bouncing.

"Holy shit. _We're setting them up_?"

His ball of soft white flashes brightly like a child being let out to play and the warmth is endearing.

"Wait. No! They're already together so it's different but, how? I can't believe I never thought about that. They even have a son!"

What? They had a son? Even though they didn't communicate well like they should. Even though they were so disconnected that Rayga didn't notice Gradeus planning a betrayal, _they had a son_?

"Since when did they have a child?"

Urokai laughs, loud and clear. His bonded can feel his confusion and is amused by it.

"Since twenty years ago! Rajak's adorable you should see him! Gradeus never leaves his side and Zarga visits them often because you know. Kids are cute."

Actually, "They adopted a child?" They were both men after all.

Urokai laughs harder.

"Nah Rajak is one hundred percent theirs. Blood and all. We don't have children the way humans do."

Okay, so maybe he should have done more to learn about nobles. Maybe he shouldn't have just spent time at Raizel's mansion, only going out occasionally. He was absolutely clueless on these matters. Was this also why Roctis was so protective of Ignes? Because of some matter he didn't know because he had thought not learning about nobles was fine now that he wasn't being chased down by them? That seemed very likely.

"Then we'll have to mend Gradeus' relationship and you'll also need to take me to Roctis. I need to get to know Ignes."

Urokai calms down and sits next to Frankenstein, leaning on him so that his head is on his shoulder.

"That sounds pretty cool. Ignes is cute, you'll love her, or find her super annoying. Or if you're like me, both."

As they both relax, a cat (large and fluffy and as white as Urokai's soul so she's aptly named Ball. or at least that's what he thinks, he's not sure why she was named that by his bonded, nor why her two brothers are called Push and Eat. they are all fluffy though, and watching Urokai get drowned in his cats is an enjoyable part of the day.) walks in through the little door that had been made by Urokai's father. It was so that he wouldn't have to open the actual door all the time which was, efficient.

Ball stops in front of him, and drops the stones from her mouth onto his lap, before sitting alert next to Urokai. Izil meowls softly, then returns to her rest but, his bonded fusses over Ball, scratching her ears and cooing.

"Aw aren't you just the bravest? You went to the manor didn't you? All by yourself!"

Frankenstein chuckles as Urokai talks to Ball, and at how she rubs against his hands. He loves them.

The same could be said for him.


	4. Chapter 4

"So we're just going in? Visiting just like that?"

Urokai stares up nervously at the Kertia estate. It looks just like any other Kertia noble's home, though that doesn't mean it's not big. There are at least three storeys that he can see, and there must be some underground levels as well since that's an atmosphere that suits them. Cellars fashioned into underground torture chambers and prisons that is. Collapsible ones maybe, so that they can bury people alive.

Yes Urokai doesn't have the greatest view of the Kertias, but nobody does! Aside from acknowledging their skills anyway.

It's not his fault that they make his spine cold enough that he's shivering, or that his nose twitches (that's moreso because of the dusty air of their stuffy rooms but it's still something that happens and therefore must be mentioned!) constantly. No, the blame lies on them entirely.

What sort of clan makes their entire territory a maze? Every building looks the same! Sure there are differences, but when both the houses and training areas have the same structure how is anybody supposed to find their way around? Unlike the Mergas they don't even put maps to help out. True, Urokai does love the architecture here, but appreciating it only consumes even more of his precious time.

It took him and Frankenstein two hours to get to Rayga's home, and the only reason they didn't walk past was because there had been a large metal plate stating it was the Kertia estate. For a clan that was usually so dumb, it made sense they didn't have an easier system, even if they did seem to understand their infrastructure and got around without any effort. Probably because they grew up here, it wasn't like there was any actual pattern to anything.

"What else are we supposed to do? Break in?" Frankenstein rolls his eyes even as he puts a hand on Urokai's shoulder. The weight is comforting, and the contact even better. It lets him sigh, relieving the tension from the knots in his hands and letting them unravel. Red crescents fade from the pale of his palms.

"No def'nitely not!" It comes out panicky, and Frankenstein glances at him concerned. "Just, it's not a good idea to ever do things like that with the Kertia. You leave the shit they lock up alone."

"People generally don't like those who intrude. Isn't that why you nobles dislike me?" Frankenstein raises a brow. It was just common sense not to do that.

"No it's not just that. Like I get what you're saying about you but-" Urokai feels his stomach freeze at Frankenstein's words, guilt showing clearly on his face- "it's different with the Kertia. The stuff isn't locked up because they want to keep it a secret or whatever, it's because it's messed up and we can't handle it. It's rare for them to get pissed off when you open their locked doors."

The ball of white connected to Frankenstein was pulsing erratically, and the tendrils jolted in surprise whenever they came upon each other. Urokai was scared? It definitely seemed that way when the tendrils wrapped around his hand, holding on tightly like a child would. He pet Urokai's head, hoping it would ease him slightly.

"And the Lord is fine with it?"

Urokai bit his lip. "There's nothing we can really do. That's just genocide. So we intervene if something big happens but, most of the time we don't notice anything because we avoid this place. Even sis didn't come here often because she said they were super fucked up, and she loved them! Stupidity and all. Was lovers with the previous clan leader even."

"That's..." understandable. It was basically what Frankenstein's relationship with Urokai was after all. Being bonded with someone who had been planning to kill you definitely wasn't in the realm of normal. Not that anyone here occupied the one crafted by humans anyway.

"Everyone's been saying you two were dating but why the fuck are you doing it outside of Rayga's house?"

Gradeus looks at them, extremely annoyed, but the image is cute. Too cute. That's just what happens when you carry a bubbly toddler who's pulling at your hair.

"We're not dating!"

"So you really do have a child." Frankenstein looks the toddler over, ignoring Urokai's outburst. He has blond hair so that means Rayga is indeed the other parent, but the fact that it's curly... he straightens his hair? Not to mention, Urokai said this child was around twenty years old. That must mean that nobles age much slower. Either that or they had had another child two or three years ago. "It wasn't a joke after all."

"You thought I was joking?"

Both Gradeus and Frankenstein ignore Urokai.

"Yeah. You came here for just that?"

"No, we came to talk to you and Rayga. Shouldn't it be obvious? Why else would we be outside your house?"

"Right." Gradeus scowls at them as the toddler laughs and clumsily climbs from his arms to his shoulders. He holds him up with one hand. "Why would you think I'm here anyway? I don't live at this damned place."

Urokai blinks, quizzical. "Rajak cries if he doesn't see you everyday. You practically live here, that's what you told me."

"Why the hell would you fucking bring blondie along then?" Gradeus isn't angry, but his annoyance is palpable, rubbing against Urokai's skin. It feels like his cats' tongues, so it doesn't really hurt. It just means he's annoyed out of worry rather than something bad.

"Because we're friends," Frankenstein states, amused at the disbelief that Gradeus shows. Even more amusing is the excited pulse that causes tremors in the tendrils that still hold his hand tightly. The joy that one feels at being called a friend, it's a pure one.

"Fine. Whatever."

Rajak picks up on his father's discontent and babbles incomprehensibly. Yet, all the vulgar words are extremely clear even if one isn't listening closely. It makes Urokai laugh, bemused. What a child! To already be cursing at such a young age, it's shocking.

"Should you really be talking like that so much in front of your son?" It's almost disconcerting. Not that Frankenstein has spent much time around children, aside from Tesamu, but he hadn't been as young as Rajak clearly is.

"The fuck does it matter? If Rayga doesn't mind then you don't need to either."

Rayga didn't mind? Urokai frowns. That's strange. Or not. He _is_ still Kertia after all, and his elder sister had always told him that you should never trust them with children. Even if Rayga had been raised by her it probably still applied.

When they don't reply Gradeus snorts and enters the estate- "Don't just stand there, follow me. Unless you're going back."

It's obvious that he hopes it's the latter, and the cloudy disappointment when it's not blinds Urokai momentarily. It's not strong though, because he doesn't like to feel the emotions of others too much, only enough to understand them. There are some, like Claudia, who are unable to make it weak though, and she would have surely stumbled due to surprise.

They're led up to the second floor, to a study. It's quaint, with paintings of past clan leaders cluttering the walls. Rayga looks up from his desk when they enter. His mask is down and Gradeus hands Rajak to him before going to stand behind him.

"Frankenstein, Urokai. It's good to see you."

Urokai stares, eyes wide, and Frankenstein chuckles.

"The same goes for you."

Rayga is obviously confused at Urokai's staring, though he prioritises rocking Rajak to sleep. It's cute to see him yawn and snuggle into the normally stoic man. Gradeus sighs, before running his fingers through Rayga's untied hair.

"You forgot to straighten your hair recently, and it's not tied either," he says, applying a gentle heat to his hands and straightening it himself.

"Ah. Thank you."

Rayga smiles, and it's obvious he's happy but Urokai can't feel even a lick of it. It's true that he doesn't let his emotions flow out of him, but not even to his own husband? He's sure Gradeus can't sense it either, because he looks lonely as he works his way through all of the hair.

Frankenstein frowns, seeing it too.

"I wasn't aware that the rumours about the two of you being in a relationship were true. It's surprising," Rayga says.

"We're not!" Urokai flinches when Rajak stirs, and quietens downs. "Who's saying that? I just realised that hating him for a stupid reason was, stupid."

Rayga stays silent, it's not like he knows.

"Urokai has many secrets about everyone in Lukedonia, and he's good company, it shouldn't come as a shock. What's more interesting is that in the two years I've been here, I never knew you two were married." Frankenstein smiles at the way Gradeus' pauses momentarily at his words before continuing on.

Rayga blinks and asks, "Interesting?"

"It made me wonder if it was a political marriage, and seeing everything, it definitely seems to be."

Urokai stares wide eyed again. Frankenstein definitely has a way with words, he'd never be able to make Rayga pale like that so quickly, or-

"_The fuck are you saying_?"

-make Gradeus so angry. His eyes are glowing brightly, and he's clenching Rayga's hair, trying to control himself. Frankenstein looks at him with pity.

"It's obvious he doesn't return your feelings. Anyone can see it considering he doesn't give you any of the affection you do him."

Gradeus flinches, and lets go of Rayga's hair. Backing away, he isn't imposing anymore, instead severely upset. Rayga seems equally affected, unable to say anything.

The tense atmosphere chokes Urokai, so he cordons it off completely, opting to just watch everything happen without getting sad too. It would be awkward if he reacts strangely. He... really shouldn't find this pitiful affair entertaining.

"Being so quiet about you, it's strange. We talk enough to be considered friends and he still didn't say anything. Is there anything to consider at this point?"

Rayga cradled Rajak, holding him close. Hoping not to be like his birth mother, he had tried to steer away from the way she had acted with his mother, her lover. Yet, he had failed? Gradeus agreed with what Frankenstein said, if the pain running down his cheeks was any indication. The guilt crushed his chest, weighing down heavily on him.

Looking over the devastation he had wrecked, Frankenstein smiles satisfied. It goes unnoticed by the two, though Urokai perks up.

"We'll be leaving now then. You both seem tired-" a blatant lie- "No need to see us out."

They leave the study, and Urokai is practically bouncing on the soles of his feet, excited. When they're out the front door he bursts.

"Is that it? They seemed pretty upset but is it going to work?"

"The plan is that they'll talk because of this and fix their problems. If that goes fine then Gradeus will be dealt with."

"Oh shit that makes so much sense. This could have been fixed ages ago! But instead he ended up joining the plan without even saying anything to Rayga."

It really was strange, thinking about it. Gradeus wasn't as revealing of his matters as he seemed to be, he couldn't be, but to not discuss things with his husband at all? Even Urokai found that strange.

Frankenstein shook his head, fond yet saddened- "Don't think too hard about it, _acilis descensus averni_."

"The descent into hell is easy?" That, made quite a bit of sense actually. "That's pretty accurate! He was swept up in his emotions and too depressed to do anything about it so he did what was easier. Talking about important stuff is pretty difficult on your emotions."

Huh. Frankenstein hadn't expected an answer but, an explanation was an explanation. Especially when it sounded right.

"Exactly," he said, petting Urokai's hair. It was a habit from petting his cats, and then him, when he laid his head in his lap. The tendrils wrapping around his arm pulsed with a warm flow.

"Now what? We just wait for results?"

"No-" that would be inefficient- "we'll go visit Raizel then return home. You'll have to tell me all you can about Roctis and Ignes. That way we can concoct a plan that runs smoothly."

Urokai smiled. Frankenstein had called the Agvain estate 'home', and even his emotions had lit up when he did. It was nice. Maybe one day he'd be able to say his bonded was part of his family, it would definitely have made his father and sisters happy. It would make him happy too.

"Sure. I need a break from the drama anyway."


	5. Chapter 5

Frankenstein smiles.

Nobody notices it because he's the only person in the room. It isn't one that's come into being due to that though, nor one of something other than happiness. Sure he _can_ smile if he isn't happy (it is a way to mask your emotions so if anything he's a professional at it. at smiling when he's lonely or angry or sad. and not ones that reveal those emotions. fake ones that seem happy, that seem genuine, that seem pleasing. it isn't as useful here in Lukedonia with nobles who subconsciously pick up on surface thoughts and emotions to communicate, or to make sure he isn't sad like Urokai does, but it's useful when dealing with other humans) but right now it's just a simple joyful action.

A result of a scene he witnessed in the large room of Raizel's perpetual stay. As always, the man stood at the window, looking out to a harsh sunlight that one would think would hurt his eyes. Yet no, he remained there. So surely he must be able to observe things, like the stirring of the birds with their pitched tweets and songs, or the hushed whispers the trees directed to the wind that took shelter in their branches. Stray cats playing in the grass, hunting, napping in the warm sun or cool shade in the gardens.

While he had been in that dark room (the walls were too deep a red. it brought a despondent mood, much like how most nobles themselves seemed to be. he preferred Urokai's red to theirs, it was warm and hot and loving even if it sparked and ran a tad wild. there was life there, and he had enough death in himself, screams in his company, that it attracted him), they had come to visit. As always he turned to greet his visitors, and as always the curtains billowed behind him (slow and dramatic, for _emphasis_) despite the fact that all the windows were closed. In that moment Urokai had managed to ask (timid despite how eager his voice had been) "Ser Raizel, would you sit with me?"

Maybe Raizel simply didn't know the different ways those words could be interpreted. Maybe he was humouring his bonded. Maybe he had feelings for him too.

The noblesse indeed took a seat. One right beside Urokai on the plush sofa (the one that needed deeper cleaning, something Raizel had once assumed to mean soaking it with water. it wasn't wrong but he would have preferred many things to what had happened. like the outer layer being removed first, or it being outside, or him not having been soaked as well. not that it was all bad. after all it led him to his bonded) that could barely fit two people. They were close, so much so that his bonded was red in more places than just his hair and eyes (and blood and flesh but he supposed that was a given). So much so that he was pressed up flush against him. So much so that there was no way his blush could be hidden.

But it could be ignored.

Raizel didn't mention it, and Frankenstein had sat across from them, his amusement obvious on both his face and the tingling of the bond. They had all talked then, and he had excused himself soon enough to "go make refreshments."

At that Urokai had basically sprung to his feet like a deer spooked, and offered to "come with you. I don't want you to do everything." Of course he had refused and so now here he was preparing tea (something that apparently Urokai had no real fondness for, only deigning to drink it when served it, and with too many spoonfuls of sugar. it made sense. no wonder he didn't bother tasting the blends when he made some for Raizel. the sole time he ever did) with his bonded's favourite cookies.

Delaying, he's been baking the cookies from scratch even though there are plenty in his pouch. It is all to give them more time together. _Alone_. That and the cookies taste better freshly made.

The batch is already being baked so he's brewing tea now, careful not to splash or spill any on the cream walls, wood floors, of the kitchen. Pouring some into a ceramic teacup (a beautiful green one with a twined and veined pattern procured from the far east. it's a set he left in this mansion to use whenever he visited. like now), he takes a sip. It's hot. Very hot. Still a satisfied sigh leaves his lips.

It's a good blend and he hasn't burnt the tea, nor has it steeped too long. Straining it, he dries the leaves for another time since they have barely been used, and places the set on a tray. The cookies are done too so those go on a plate as he cleans up.

One last glance back at the tidy kitchen with it's stone and wood furnishings places another smile on him. Then he's off, shoes quite on the thick carpeted floor (as enjoyable as the clack against the stone of Urokai's territory. or the muffled thuds upon dirt and thin rugs that cover wooden floors) that reflect just how extravagant the entire mansion is.

Maybe it isn't the same sort as the Lord's palace which is lit up with torches on the walls, open pathways overlooking courtyards and the forest and town. Marble of white with grey rivulets, and rich red and gold. Fanciful. Meanwhile it's dark here, many corridors that seem more like narrow alleyways leading off into a cold black. Dust has settled, made its home here, and webs don't even try to hide, silver spiralled over the edges where none can reach with ease. Compared to the palace that's explored, known, this place is desolate, abandoned even though it has a resident. Not that it matters much these differences, neither estates are lived in. They're sad. Lonely.

It makes Frankenstein glad he doesn't have to stay here, or in the palace. The Agvain territory is good, almost like he's among fellow humans again with how sociable the nobles of the clan are. Not that he can mistake them as his own species when he sees someone take a handful of lava, place it in a glass, and slowly sip at it, or when he spots some strange fluid flow down from the lips of an excited clan member which then drips to the ground, bubbling, and melting whatever is below them to the chagrin of others. Nor can he do that even if it weren't for the impossible feats because they're much kinder, more loyal, than the fellow humans he has given his company to.

With one firm knock, he enters the room. It isn't necessary but, consider it a warning. Urokai needs it. He knows that from the bond where he's so focused on Raizel that his responses to Frankenstein are slow. Even a gentle touch to the flaming core doesn't merit an immediate response.

Inside not much has changed. The blush that was previously present has subsided, and Urokai talks animatedly. All else is as it was, calm, undisturbed. He smiles and places the tray on the table, pouring them all tea.

"How much sugar do you want?" He knows the answer but he still asks in the hopes that they say something different.

Urokai's eyes are more on the cookies than the tea. "The usual is fine!"

"Same for you too?" he asks, question directed to the noblesse.

Raizel merely nods.

The first cube of sugar goes in easily. So does the second and third. Then his movements slow on the fourth. A fifth goes in too. By the sixth he's grimacing at the thought of the overwhelming sweetness that will drown out the taste anyway, the seventh makes his mind spin, and then there's nine in without him having realised it. The same happens for the other cup. No matter how many times he does this, it still shocks him.

Heathens. Too sickened to look at the sugar, he refrains from any in his own cup. Sitting down he takes a sip, savouring the flavour of the blend, something that Urokai and Raizel most assuredly _cannot_ do. At least his bonded is honest about it, and everyone knows not to ask him to make them tea, but the noblesse just sits there, drinking in a manner that would make others think he's elegant.

He avoids looking at Raizel. It's better to watch Urokai take the entire plate of cookies and eat them happily (Raizel does too. he finds the action adorable, and very much preferred to the arguments he used to have with Frankenstein). Midway, with a cookie still in hand, he remembers there are others, and it's funny seeing him flush red again; embarrassment colouring the bond.

Almost in limbo, his feelings fluctuate between being willing, and being reluctant, as he offers the plate to Raizel. "Do you want some?"

Frankenstein watches bemused. He can tell that the man is struggling between taking one, and refusing because he thinks Urokai's actions are cute. The fight is bitter. For some moments he sits there staring as the plate is held out and the situation grows awkward. In the end he suppresses his own sweet tooth, opting not to take anything.

"No, I don't want any." A quiet tone no different from all his other words.

Urokai's eyes light up and the plate is back in his lap. The speed at which he goes though them is, fast. So fast that it's very obvious he intends to finish them before talking again. Frankenstein is glad for it. After all, it's a cute scene and the reason why he made these specific goods. Perhaps he'll make something for the noblesse later to repay him. That or he'll leave the pouch of cookies here when they leave.

He has to because Urokai is light in the night and gloom and haze. The thickest fog, one that makes all others fade, all thoughts slip away, can't cover up his glow. It's like an anchor, a rock, a staff. Pulsing sporadically, their bond comforts him, and keeps him steady. _Stable_.

The conversation continues when Urokai places a clean plate on the table with a happy smile. There isn't much that catches his attention until-

"What happened to the cat you brought before?"

Was the noblesse referring to the day of their bonding? It's the only time he remembers Raizel meeting one. Urokai looks at him confused, and '_he probably means Izil' _is murmured through his mind.

"Oh. Izil is fine. She's grown now though, much bigger than she was back then."

"She lives with you?"

"I mean yeah?" Urokai's confusion grows. "Where else would she be?"

Raizel doesn't say anything to that and there's a silence. Nobody says anything and it goes on, and on, and on.

"Do you uh, want to see her?"

A nod. Frankenstein holds in his laughter at the ideas Urokai contemplates when seeing that. '_Just invite him over. You know she doesn't like leaving the house for anything_.'

"Then uh. You can visit our territories at any time right? Why don't you come over in a few days?" A softer red, faint, colours the skin of his bonded.

Again the noblesse merely nods, and Frankenstein joins in, discussing when it would be best for him to come. Today is nearly over, and though none of them require sleep, the night is reserved for Urokai to carry out his clan duties (not that he has many. his clan is strange in that way. the clan leader is merely to go to meetings and present their ideas for them, otherwise they have no work. Urokai still does have some, but that's not because he's a clan leader and moreso because he's a clan member who is skilled in an area that greatly benefits it's structure).

When they are by the gardens, leaving (he already left the pouch of cookies on the table. it can't be missed with it's purple velvet, and definitely not with the nobles' awareness of their surroundings), he says, "If all goes well maybe you can try to court him."

"Court him?" A strange feeling ran through the bond as Urokai shook his head. "_Dum vivo, spero_. Because I love him, but I won't because Edian does too."

Frankenstein rolled his eyes the moment his bonded turned, and trailed after him. The idiot liked Edian as well, so he should just court them both. The only question he had concerning this now was whether Raizel had feelings for Edian. That would be what decided everything.


	6. Chapter 6

"How old did you say Ignes was again?"

Urokai shot Frankenstein a strange look. What was with him?

"Three hundred. She's still a kid." In his eyes anyway. Sure she'd already had her coming of age ceremony but that didn't mean shit.

Frowning, Frankenstein watched the rivers of lava cooling as they walked further and further. Every step brought them closer to Kravei territory (to Roctis and Ignes who they needed to deal with. to the sea where they dwelled, along with countless other creatures. to the waves he had crossed to find refuge here). He could feel a breeze on his face, his clothes fluttering. Carried inland from the sea perhaps?

"I was told your people become adults at two hundred, was that wrong?" Or it could be outdated. That wouldn't be a surprise considering how far behind humans nobles seemed to be in so many things despite being much further ahead on others.

"We have our coming of age ceremony at two hundred, that's when we're mostly developed and nobody would bat an eye if you got a job. An adult though?" Urokai snorted. "You're not really one until you're five hundred. Don't get knocked up till then."

Frankenstein rolled his eyes. "I don't need that advice."

"Why not? You're not five hundred yet."

"I'm-" he poked at Urokai through their bond- "_human_. Not only am I already an adult, I can't get pregnant."

"Oh." Urokai blushed, laughing. Shit, he'd totally forgotten. Frankenstein was such a familiar face, a familiar feeling, by now that he just considered him an ordinary clan member who was family. Like Lî Ban. "Right."

"I'll refrain from 'knocking up' the children then," he stated dryly, "I can promise that."

That only made Urokai laugh more. "I didn't think you would anyway. We have to change our bodies to have kids the way humans and werewolves do. Not like we have to suffer through pregnancy or childbirth if we don't want to."

Frankenstein watched over his bonded carefully as he took to walking on the cool lava. It may have solidified from where he could see it but that didn't mean it had all the way through and he wouldn't be able to help Urokai if he fell in completely. Not that he needed help he supposed. Agvains seemed to see lava as just another source to swim or relax in.

"Then why did you say to be careful not to get pregnant? If you don't get pregnant in the first place it shouldn't' matter should it?"

"Eh. It doesn't take much to shift so we can get people pregnant. Getting all the stuff necessary to carry a kid is harder. Kinda assumed that since you're human you'd already have that but I forgot human men can't do that."

Of course he had, that's just how Urokai always was. It was cute, and when it wasn't it was funny so he could tease him. _Then_ his reactions were _definitely_ cute.

"How do you even have children?"

Urokai shrugged as he spoke, eyes focused on the path, "You use your own blood to inscribe the necessary arcanics and make the kid out of willpower basically. Takes like, a full day and you need to make sure to have saved up power for at least a decade before trying or else you'll die. Most of the time that doesn't happen and it helps to get someone else's blood to like make them, uh, like a mix of two lines."

"Excuse me?" That just sounded like some sort of ritual of the devil. Especially since arcanics seemed to mean something like symbols according to what he'd said. "You can make a child with only one person?"

"Yeah. Werewolves and humans find that super weird for some reason but like, it's not like the kid looks exactly like the parent or whatever. Dunno why they get so fired up about it."

"We can't do that."

"Well yeah but that doesn't make it weird. We existed before y'all did and before the werewolves came outta nowhere but sure we're the weird ones."

Now that was a lot of things he didn't know supporting all of those words. "What do you mean the werewolves came out of nowhere?"

"Shit I don't know, ask someone else. I'm not a history fanatic. I just remember the basics that all us kids learn in the clan." Seriously, Frankenstein really needed to calm down on the questions. He was good with numbers, not all the other stuff that went on. Nobody was good at everything.

"Just tell me what you know."

"Uh, sure whatever-" Urokai frowned, scrunching up his face as he thought- "Right so basically there are records kept by the Siriana that everyone contributes to. So you know how the werewolves have that island they live on right?" He continued once Frankenstein nodded- "The records don't know how they got there. One day the place was empty, the next there was this group of them there setting up stuff even though no noble had seen them in the area before. Or even in the rest of the world."

"They appeared out of nowhere?" That was strange. He had seen some of the records kept by the Siriana and they were very detailed so, if they said the werewolves had never been seen before by nobles, they meant it.

"Yeah. Weird right?" Urokai considered that a lot stranger than how they nobles reproduced.

"It isn't normal, yes." They were approaching the sea now, and Frankenstein knew that from more than just the salty scent. He could hear the waves crashing too, probably against a cliff or some other rock formation, and the foliage was much thinner here. As he stepped out of them completely and onto a beautiful sandy beach, a pulse of excitement flooded him through the bond, Urokai almost falling off of the river of black stone he was on. "You've wanted to come here for a while haven't you?"

"Ah." Urokai wondered if he'd been that obvious these days. "Yeah. I have a friend from here."

"And here I thought you had a grand total of only three friends."

Urokai sputtered at that, huffing as he replied but Frankenstein just laughed, teasing him more as they leisurely made their way to the manor by the sea. He could see buildings in the sea too, some so deep in that only the roofs or spires were visible, and he had no doubt there were many more out of his sight too. after all, there weren't many out of the water. Truly beautiful, and they gleamed in the light, pristine.

"You really meant it when you said they were the clan of water," Frankenstein mused, looking up at the archway leading into the manor. Not only were all the carvings and décor of things related to it, the waves were lapping against the walls. "I suppose the first floor being flooded doesn't affect them if they don't even have some sort of door or gateway."

"Why would it? It wouldn't really affect any noble though most of us would find it inconvenient. And we'd hate it unless the water was warm." Which it wasn't. Urokai led them through the first floor, drying both of them as they went up the stairs. "I told Roctis we were coming so he'll be on his guard. You might need to come here often to gain his trust and stuff."

"Because he doesn't know me? Or because I'm human?"

"More because I pulled out of the plans all of a sudden. They're probably going to be super wary since I do know what the goal is. Gradeus and Zarga leaving didn't help."

Ah, that made sense. He was about to say more but a girl, maybe around sixteen if she had been human, approached them.

"Urokai," she asked, accent heavy and slow but lyrical. If he hadn't gotten used to the Agvain accent which was just as indecipherable as this one Frankenstein wouldn't understand what she was saying. "Who's this?"

The question made Urokai laugh. "Haven't you heard all the rumours? It should be obvious right?"

Pouting, the girl stared up at them, hair falling back from her face so that it could be seen properly. "So this is Frankenstein? You're the famous scientist?"

"That would be me, yes."

"Prove it."

Frankenstein raised a brow- "Excuse me?"

"They say you're the best but, I don't believe it. So-" she looked at him, determined- "show me. I want to see whether you measure up to all the rumours."

He looked at Urokai but his bonded just shrugged. Well, if he didn't have an opinion- "Okay."

Her eyes widened and she smiled. It was adorable, even if slightly strange that she had demanded that he do something without actually expecting him to agree. "Then follow me! I usually work in the labs on the third flo-"

"Ignes-" a man, he had the same wavy black hair and accent as the girl, came down the hallway. She was Ignes so this must be Roctis Kravei. "I told you not to disturb our guests when they arrived."

"I just wanted to see Urokai! He hasn't come here in ages, and anyway, I'm not disturbing them. Right?" She looked to Urokai, eyes filled with worry.

"Of course not," Urokai spoke without hesitation, grinning as he swung and arm around her shoulder in a hug, "Why would we be disturbed by a cutie like her?"

Roctis sighed. "Is that why I heard her trying to force Frankenstein into demonstrating his skills for her?" He looked to Frankenstein- "I apologise for her actions. She's always been too absorbed by her interest."

Ignes lowered her head at her father's words, staring at the floor. That made Urokai pull her in closer and she huddled in, turning her body to face him. The entire scene was building an annoyance in his bonded, so he reached out through the bond, attempting to comfort him too. _Calm down, I know this sucks but Roctis won't allow you to come back if you insult him. That would ruin everything._

_I won't, don't worry_. He wasn't so idiotic to ruin their chances just because he was upset. He only would do that if he had an alternate plan. Frankenstein smiled- "There's no need for an apology. She wasn't pressuring me. If I don't want to do something, I don't do it, and she wouldn't be able to get me to no matter how hard she tried. In fact, I'm actually interested in her skills too. I have heard from Urokai that she has quite the talent in the sciences."

At his words Ignes glanced at him, and then to Urokai as if to confirm what she had heard. Perhaps they were communicating through their minds because his bonded nodded in response, and he usually wasn't good at picking up on signals. He didn't miss the expression on Roctis' face either, as fleeting as it was, even if he didn't quite understand what it meant.

"Maybe later. Urokai must have brought you here for a reason."

"Ah, well, actually," Urokai blushed, stammering, "I uh. I just came to see Ignes and Hatepuna."

"You don't need to bring him to see people."

"I thought it'd be good to introduce them, and he hadn't been here yet either. So, I asked him to tag along."

"Is that so?" Roctis didn't seem convinced but neither did he seem like he would ask further. Not directly at least.

"Yes. And since I'm here I may as well indulge in Ignes' request-" he smiled at her and she returned it timidly- "Why don't we go now? We'll see if I match your standards."

She looked between him and her father, before taking Urokai's hand and pulling him along with her to the stairs. "This way. Just follow me."

Frankenstein did so without hesitation, once again noticing how Roctis only came after a pause. It was strange but it didn't matter. Not even when they were in the labs and he stared at them the whole time (when in the beginning he proved to Ignes that the rumours were indeed true, and when she showed her proof. when they realised she hadn't been taught properly, because she hadn't been at all and had taught herself. an impressive feat which he had rightly complimented her for. Roctis' gaze had lightened for a moment then but, returned with full force moments later as he offered to teach her, and as she agreed. she really was a good kid, just that she was lonely like Urokai. so of course, he had to help her).

When they were finally done and out of the manor, a difficult problem that had involved Urokai prying Ignes off of him, it was night. The moon shone upon the waves which were far past the manor now, reaching the trees. That also the tide was higher and he was much, much wetter.

"She wasn't anywhere as bad as people made her out to be."

Urokai huffed. "Of course not! How many times do I have to say it? She's an adorable kid."

"Does she really experiment on people?" That was the real problem here, and the reason why Roctis was working with Lagus.

"I, think she's done it once or twice so far." Urokai shifted, his discomfort leaking through the bond as a flickering cold. "Roctis has been trying to stop her so she hasn't done anymore yet. I'm not sure though."

He could work with that. One problem had already been glaringly obvious during all the hours they had spent together, now he just needed to see if that was the cause for the main one. "I'll probably be coming here often then. You might have to visit Edian without me."

"Oh." His bonded's expression was blank but the bond had gone limp.

Frankenstein pet his shoulder, and then his head. "It isn't a definite, I'll try to make time for it."

Taking a deep breath, Urokai grinned, bond perking up somewhat. "Yeah. I get it. Why don't we visit Hatepuna now?"

"Sure. Where is she?"

"We need to go in the water."

Frankenstein stared at him. "What?"

"Water-" Urokai pointed at the sea- "In."

"My question is _how_ you expect me to go in there. I'm not a noble." Did he just forget that after a few minutes?

"Oh, don't worry," Urokai said, smiling happily, "I can help you breathe down there. Come on!"

Taking his hand, he dragged Frankenstein under the waves.


	7. Chapter 7

Seated on his husband's desk, Gradeus kept his arms crossed as he stared down at said husband.

The day had been an ordinary one. After checking on his clan members he'd went and seen if his heir was doing fine with the clan duties. Then he'd visited Krasis (the man was annoying, and too eager about everything, and a total stickler for rules, but he loved his brother dearly. again he had gone to hear stories of their dame, Aphrodite, and their brother, Bersa, for the two had both entered eternal sleep soon after his birth. seeing Karias was just a bonus considering how cute his nephew was). Then he'd gone to the Kertia territory. It was sunny so he'd taken Rajak out for a walk and gotten horribly lost amidst all the structures as always.

Why were all the buildings so similar anyway? It's like they _wanted_ people to get lost (not that that would surprise him with how these fuckers acted with their lovers. if they did this out of possessiveness it would only be the best case scenario). At least everything was pretty so it wasn't as much of a pain as it could have been, and Rajak got to spend more time outside instead of being in some boring old room.

Meanwhile Rayga had been in his office all day, working, working, and working.

All he ever seemed to do was work, and that made him want to break something. Everything was getting better except the fact that his husband never seemed to have time for anything. He had to schedule things in. Fucking_ schedule _them_. _How was it in any way normal to not have enough time to do things aside from your work? So here he was now, obstructing any effort that could be taken to do anything.

It caused Rayga to have that expression on his face. The one where his brows furrowed as confusion filled him. As if he was a child lost and unsure of what to do or who to approach, except it lacked the fear. It was cute.

"Love," Rayga started out, and already he had to keep himself from smiling. Love? It had been a while since he'd last heard that, since he'd last been referred to with that word. "I can't do anything if you sit on my work."

That made Gradeus snort, out of both amusement and derision. "You were staring at the same paper for at least an hour. It was that one when I walked in, and it didn't change the entire time I was here."

The face Rayga made then was even cuter with how he frowned and the fact that his face scrunched up for a moment, so quick that it could be missed. For a while now he hadn't seen all the different expressions his husband could make, and that was an absolute tragedy. He'd need to work on that for now.

"I was thinking the details over."

"For an hour?" His question made Rayga's frown worse, and he sighed, letting his tone soften so he'd know that he meant no insult, "That's a bit much, you know that. Why don't you take a break?"

"If I do that everything will only pile up more."

Gradeus sighed and hopped off of the desk, sitting on Rayga's lap and straddling him. Pulling at Rayga's cheeks, he made sure he was looking at him. Even if it was with a mortified expression and distaste in his eyes (which kinda hurt even though he knew it wasn't really towards him and just because of the action. still, it was a reminder of how he'd been ignored so much in the past and how he feared things would revert back to that sooner or later. would it really be a surprise though? of course not. Rayga had always loved the lord more than he could ever love him, and no matter how he tried, that would never change. his bitterness over it had faded centuries ago, leaving only loneliness and despondence. and the anger that had driven him to agree to betraying Lukedonia? that wasn't borne of this, but rather from the hatred of how Rayga would look at all but him, only fuelling the sporadic attacks on his body. it had faded too recently, yet traces lingered and he knew that if the situation returned to how it had been, they would rear their ugly little heads and drive him truly into insanity. to where there would be no return. perhaps things would have been better if it had been he who died and his dame who remained of the world, for then his brother would be living too and he would have been the clan leader instead of him. he knew well that Bersa was much kinder than he who felt no remorse for causing the deaths of innocents. than he whose guilt was only reserved for those he cared for), at least Rayga wasn't pulling away. That meant he didn't hate this.

"The time you take on a single one of these alone is the problem. A break will help you relax and think things over." Even if he did hate the idea of the man he loved thinking about his work when with him, it would be better than not being with him at all. "And I'll help too."

Rayga stared at him blankly- "You?"

"Are you forgetting that I'm a clan leader too?"

The blush that arose on his cheeks was adorable, and so Gradeus pulled down his mask to see it better. That made the blush brighter but once again, Rayga didn't do anything to resist him.

"So you did forget."

Rayga averted his eyes and that made him laugh. "Yes. You said to take a break?"

The attempt to change the subject just made him laugh more, and he ended up burying his head on his shoulder as his body shook. It did mean he couldn't see those cute expressions, but being close like this made up for it. When he finally calmed he moved off of Rayga (a shame since he had been enjoying how Rayga had been hugging him) and to the door. When his husband didn't follow he paused, looking back at him.

"Well? Are you coming?"

Rayga blushed again at that and got up. He was so _stupid_, and that was one of the things he adored about him. Though he hated it often too.

Once they were in the bedroom (Rajak was on the middle of the bed, sleeping. he'd gotten all tired out from the walk where he'd chased after butterflies and tried to go in the water to look at the fishes. that had been a mess and in the end he had to dive in because Rajak had gotten stuck in the mud of the lake floor), Gradeus dragged him down onto the bed, being careful not to squish their son. It wouldn't hurt him but it _would _be uncomfortable and he didn't want to wake him. Children needed their rest.

Like he always seemed to, Rayga stared at him, face blanked by confusion. "This is a break?"

Gradeus rolled his eyes at the question, shifting so that he was hugging him with Rajak nestled between them. "Yeah. It's been a while since we've just been together like this."

That seemed to make him contemplate and he finally smiled, making it so that all three of them were closer together. It was... nice.

They stayed there for what Gradeus thought were hours, the room having darkened as the sun set and night hovered. Even through the curtains the faint light of the moon shone through, or maybe it was of the lanterns and torches the clan members had lit up. It could even be of the Agvains or Tradio or Siriana being lively but he couldn't bring himself to care much. Not unless it was his love or his son who wanted to see the lights mingling with the dark.

He simply laid there, entangled, as he stroked Rayga's hair absentmindedly. The breath on his neck had stopped tickling him long ago, it was only comforting now. The same way that the hand on his waist and the way that Rayga watched him (with a smile. it was the gentlest one that he'd ever seen. not even Rajak's creation compared, not when this was so slight yet it was mirrored everywhere else too. his eyes showed the same emotion, half-lidded with fatigue as they were, and there was something soft about his usual cold exterior. something similar to that day long ago when his face had filled with despair at the news of his mother's passing. the same passing that had caused the lord of then to enter eternal sleep, and for his own sire to sob in silence as she followed her) was comforting. Intimate.

Rajak still slept between them, tiny noises similar to a kitten's mewling escaping him every now and then. This sort of setting... it was what he wanted always. Only, he needed his thirst of battle to be quenched so the disease of his mind and blood wouldn't surface and destroy all he strove for. Sometimes, even now, he considered joining Lagus again for he never knew when it would appear to ruin his life the same way it had often done his sire's (his poor mother, of whom it had forced her to kill when she had never wished to).

But not now.

"Your hair's curling again," he murmured as he started to apply heat to his fingers.

"Mmm-" Rayga's expression didn't change in the slightest, eyes still on him- "Thank you."

That made him smile too, as brief as it was. "I don't see why you need to straighten it, you look better with the curls."

"Curly hair isn't as elegant."

The response caused a sigh. Not as elegant? Wasn't it? Then what about him? He wasn't considered the most elegant even though he tried, yet Rayga had still married him.

"I don't agree." He really didn't. Gradeus had never known about his hair until after they had married and it had been a shock. Not a bad one, simply one that caused him to resent the lord more then he already did. "How curly someone's hair is doesn't affect their elegance in any way."

That didn't elicit an answer, only reluctance hidden in his eyes. Softly, "At least when we're alone?"

"I can do that." Of course he could, but Gradeus smiled anyway, and leaned in to kiss his cheek.

"Any chance you could spar with me then too?"

Rayga blinked "Spar?"

"Everybody refuses to. Bunch of fucking cowards, all of them." And they couldn't even use the excuse of it being loud since some of them would spar with others.

"Fuck!" a high-pitched voice repeated, and Rayga chuckled as Rajak stood, supporting him with a hand. It wasn't necessary considering that he could just hold onto their bodies for support but, what his husband was doing was normal too.

"They feel overwhelmed when fighting you. And, Yali, Urokai, and Azrael just don't like to fight at all."

"Overwhelmed?" He supposed he could give those three a pass but the others? No. As for them not liking to fight... it was a shame. Yali, despite her timid personality, was the strongest among them and he'd prefer sparring with her over anyone else.

"You're too strong for them."

Gradeus snorted. Too strong? "They won't get better with that attitude."

As Rajak slowly walked, steps unsteady, Rayga spoke, "You can always ask Frankenstein to spar with you. He considers those stronger than him to be better practice."

"That asshole?" He had to ask him? Ugh. Like he had nothing better to do? And after he had dared to be so rude to Rayga? Sure, it had led to this but, ah, actually- "I do want to beat him up. Good idea."

"... Of course-" his amusement was obvious- "Do you want to go out and see the lights? The Siriana are letting out the lanterns all throughout the night."

Oh. So, it was the Siriana. He hadn't realised that it was already that time of the year though. "I don't really care-" he poked Rajak gently, making sure that it would be barely felt- "Do you want to see the burning paper boxes?"

Rajak nodded happily, babbling with all the vulgar words Gradeus would use. Though their son didn't talk much otherwise, he was very fond of repeating everything others would find appalling. That was just how children were, he supposed.

And as they went out, he couldn't keep the smile off of his face.


	8. Chapter 8

"I can't do this."

Urokai stands outside the door to Edian's home. He's stuck there staring at the humble abode. It's even moreso that than the ones in the Agvain territory (though maybe that's not a fair comparison considering their homes are communal ones. not that being communal changes the fact that only he and Frankenstein live in his home. his cousins either work in the Agvain manor and so live there, or are Siriana), though it does remind him somewhat of the Siriana ones. Although it isn't like a nest in any sort of way, her home is small and has the feeling of comfort exuding even from the exterior.

He's missed coming here, even if he can't bring himself to go inside.

"If you don't enter on your own I _will_ drag you inside-" Zarga has a cold expression, though Urokai knows he's not really annoyed, and it's hard to be scared of him when he's holding a tiny kid in his arms - "I didn't come to this forsaken place just to return without doing anything."

"It's not like you were going to do anything anyway. And I thought you liked the heat?" He certainly did as an Agvain, and the Siriana usually loved it too.

Zarga makes a face at that. "The heat yes. The sand? Who thought it would be a good idea to have a desert in Lukedonia?"

The way he says it with such disdain makes him snicker, and his daughter laughs when feeling his amusement too. It's not like the ages of past where they weren't nobles and had scales in which the sand could get stuck between, but he supposes it isn't for everyone. It wasn't supposed to be for_ anyone _in the first place.

"This was meant for prisoners to get lost in so that if they escaped they would be found so..." The Drosia are just weirdoes who like it here.

"I know-" Zarga rolls his eyes- "It doesn't make the fact that they're scattered all over the territory any better. Perhaps it makes sense but it's difficult for the rest of us that they're not just a small town in one place."

He shrugs. If the Drosia need this setup for their work than what right do they have to say anything? Maybe it's weird, even a bit terrifying, to come across them (because they dress in those layers that cover them up and make them look like vagabonds. and there are the ones in armour which clinks strangely as they approach. that's horrifying when you haven't spotted them yet because it makes you wonder if you've gone crazy and are hearing things, especially when all you can see is sand in every direction with maybe a few of those spiny plants if you're lucky. they make for good guards because of that, and because they can actually bear being in a desert indefinitely) but they're nice people.

Faced with his lack of any real reaction, Zarga sighs. He also frowns but honestly that's just his resting face so it's not something anyone comments on. After all, most nobles seem to have one that's cold and impassive in the name of elegance because of how it's refined and beautiful or something (he doesn't like it because they feel cold and distant as if they don't want him around. though maybe that's just because people generally don't regardless, so signs which are more obvious drive him away beforehand). He doesn't really understand it; most Agvains don't. Only the nobles who were always nobles do, aside from a few like Zarga who seem to know why but, he doesn't care for it much either so it doesn't count. Then there's the fact that apparently the Kravei and Loyards are just naturally elegant from how others react yet, it isn't like they understand it either so nobody among them really knows why it's so important. All he knows is that when he was young he was made fun of because he didn't naturally emulate it in the least. Instead he was just clumsy and annoying and too loud. He's still not good at it now despite trying (obvious from how even the other clan leaders will insult him for it. they say it's just simple teasing but he hates them for it) but, it's better than it used to be. Though in the past he had his father and sisters to get on the case of anyone who would make fun of him for lacking it so it hurts more now (even if Gradeus and Edian try to do that too they aren't as effective, only Zarga is. and that's because he knows how his family did it).

Now he just has Zarga to grab and carry him alongside his child while he protests. Somehow he manages to open the door even with him struggling, and goes inside. "Edian! Urokai came to see you!"

That makes Urokai squeak but nothing happens. Zarga just sighs and drops him onto the couch where he curls up on one side, staring at everything wide-eyed. His reaction gets a cushion thrown at him and he clutches it tight, calming slightly. It's still not enough though, and he gets pet on the head from the tiny girl who babbles at him, so he ends up burying his face in the cushion as his heart slows.

"I'm going to get Edian. Wait here for a moment."

Looking up slightly, he nods. Though he starts to get anxious again he tries to distract himself with other things. Like, will Edian still be drugged now? Probably, and that just makes him heavier with guilt. It's been a while since he's felt like this because he's been distracted with being _happy_.

He's been so preoccupied with spending time with Frankenstein and Ser Raizel that he hasn't even thought of Edian and that's something that shouldn't have happened. He doesn't have the right to be so carefree when she's still been suffering. When she's still been under Lagus' control, void of her freedom. She deserves to haunt him, deserves to strip him of his joy and replace it with thoughts of her, deserves to occupy his time. Curling up, even his bond feels weaker.

Until a gentle pulse rolls over him and he lets his breath slow. That had started building up and only the waves through the bond prevents him from lapsing back. It remindshim thatno, he _has_ been trying. He's been fixing things and visiting her would have only ruined everything. And he has been thinking of her, just not filling himself with guilt so that what he does actually affects things instead of just wallowing in his misery.

He doesn't have to live thinking he can't fix his mistakes, and Frankenstein's a reminder of that in the same way that Zarga is a reminder of being important. And how seeing Arakei finally doesn't make him want to cry and reminds him that he doesn't need to grieve anymore. That loving them is enough. Sure, seeing her still makes him sad but it's getting better. He can actually take her advice, and think about what she says to him (the same words that she'd oft repeat when she'd been by his side, when her heart had made noise and her body had been warm. words that Zarga oft tells him as well, and he knows it's because he remembers what Arakei would say too, and that he loves her as he does him. and Urokai wishes he knew what happened to her on the day of her passing. he wishes he knew it just as he wishes Lord Gentilus hadn't told him about how his elder sister had died for her out of a misplaced sense of duty, for something she needn't have fought for because the Lord entered eternal sleep regardless of her efforts to keep her alive, so maybe it's better he doesn't know. that doesn't stop him from wishing though).

"Urokai?"

The softness of that voice makes him look up from where he's buried his head in the cushion. Edian stands at the entrance of the hallway looking at him, Zarga peering over her shoulder with his daughter grabbing at his face. Her eyes are clouded over, pale instead of the bright red they should be, and it pains him. They don't seem distant though. Even though her body face seems cold, even though her body is slack as if she's somewhere else entirely, even though she's wearing that black uniform with gold trim (that she hates, and that she doesn't don unless at a meeting. that she curses when the lord isn't within hearing distance and ditches for outfits she prefers much more, like her aunt's gold dress, or the pale pink suit that had once belonged to her father and now belongs to her) which makes it obvious that there's indeed something wrong.

He straightens up- "Hi Edi." That's all he can muster up and even though he tries to say more, he can't. He's just stuck there trying to speak as she stares at him. Even though she's under the influence of Lagus' drugs she still maintains that intimidating, yet gentle aura. One that makes him think that she could easily be deified into a goddess by humans. The ones that represent women and war. It also reminds him of his elder sister whose death left behind not only three children who hadn't reached adulthood yet, but the fact that the youngest of the three had only been born several hours prior.

He tells her as much too and she stands there. It makes his head pound because he's pretty sure he's said something wrong but then she blushes and his heart's pounding instead now.

"I remind you of mother? Oh-" she approaches him, and gathers him up in a hug- "I've missed you, you dumb idiot."

Urokai wraps his arms around her as she holds him in her arms. It's nice at first, but grows more awkward when Zarga just stands there staring at them, his daughter imitating him. Maybe Edian doesn't care because she can't see them, but he can and that makes his cheeks go red so he hides his face in the crook of her neck. That only seems to make things worse though because it makes Zarga chuckle and Edian ends up giggling too.

Even though he's majorly embarrassed (enough so that it leaks through to his bonded because Frankenstein send him a confused inquiry. hoping for support he sends the gist but that just results in amusement from _him_ too so now he's even worse off. everyone around him really thrives off of his suffering but he guesses he doesn't really mind in cases like this. even if he is going to be sulking for a while), he doesn't ask to be let down, simply content in Edian's arms. At least even when she gets together with Ser Raizel he'll have these sort of gestures of affection from her. It's all he can ask for, and enough to make him happy. The same way that the two being together is good enough for him.

In the end they stay together for a long while in silence. Though she never lets go of him she does end up settling down on the couch. Zarga joins them too and it's nice. Even if he doesn't sit close to them (because he has no intention of letting Edian touch him, and because he's too busy watching over his sleeping child), his presence itself makes everything better. It seems he's talking to Edian while there, but Urokai doesn't ask for them to speak with words instead of telepathy. He's content just being half asleep with the gentle warmth of someone he cares for, and his bonded's feelings, around him.

When they finally do have to leave ('cause Zarga makes a face and mentions work which causes Edian to go pale. that must mean she's severely behind which isn't characteristic of her, though being drugged and unable to do it probably doesn't help and must have prevented her from doing it) Edian's eyes are brighter than they were before. Not by much, but by a shade or two, and that itself helps release just a bit more of the weight on his shoulders.

She sees them off at the door, sky dark with stars glimmering bright, and tells Zarga to materialise a hooded cloak so that the sand doesn't blind him. He does, tucking his daughter well under it, and Urokai's about to as well but she wraps one of her own around him, the soft blue one that her mother had made for her (he knows that his elder sister had been the one to make it because you can't see the stitches on it. the embroidery patterns are unique to their clan too, and has a story weaved into it. once Edian asked him to read it for her and he did. just while leaving out half of it because it mentioned too many things that shouldn't be spoken of, and went into a level of detail he hadn't thought possible to fit into so little thread. it was obvious that her father had been the one to write it and that his sister had simply embroidered it because of that. Ser Gan Jiang was well known for being blunt and lacking shame).

She leans in to kiss his forehead and whispers, "You have to give it back to me," which garners her a bright blush and a timid nod.

He can sense her at the door even when they turn and walk away, and even they're far off. After a point he stops feeling her, but he knows it's because she's simply out of his range and not because she's returned inside.

"Zarga?"

"Yes?"

Thinking for a moment, Urokai phrases his question cautiously, "Edian was a lot more aware than I thought she would be. Was I overestimating Lagus?"

"No-" and Zarga doesn't seem to be wary so Urokai calms too- "he's given up completely, so he isn't giving her those doses anymore. She's had a while to recover already."

The revelation makes him blink. "Given up?"

"He's lost Gradeus and Roctis is easing out because Ignes is clinging to Frankenstein. What could he possibly plan with only the werewolves? Now he's just returned to tending to his plants and being wary of Rozaria," Zarga sounds amused as he ends and Urokai grins.

"Of that munchkin burning down the gardens?" He hopes she does even as another part of him opposes the notion. That place is _creepy_, but the memento of his sister is in there too and he doesn't want that to be lost as well.

"No. She's courting Claudia and-"

"_Already?_"

Zarga nods and Urokai laughs nervously. "Damn. She's pretty brave. I mean she does tell me all the time that Claudia's pretty and I know she visited her loads but, I would have thought she'd wait a few more centuries. Is she even an adult?"

"I don't know-" and Urokai knows he doesn't particularly care either- "she's older than my Feng Mian."

"Feng Mian was literally born a week ago."

That just makes Zarga burst out into laughter as he pulls the cloak tighter around him so that his daughter isn't exposed to the desert sand. Not that she would be with the protective bubble he keeps her in but he's a worried father.

"Am I wrong though?"

Urokai sighs and shakes his head. At least he knows what to do next. He hasn't seen Claudia in a while, nor Rozaria, or even Raskreia when it comes down to it. That has to be fixed.


	9. Chapter 9

"In the gardens?"

Claudia nodded, taking a sip of her tea- "Yes. Pretty often too." Which was kinda, maybe, totally, fucking annoying. The plants couldn't keep their mouths shut about it either.

"Damn." Urokai leaned back into the soft plush of her bed. He'd thought the lava pools and streams of the Agvain territory, and even the cemeteries of the humans, were impressive, but this was another level. Though it was on the same one as the Agvain rose gardens he supposed.

"Damn, indeed. Not too bad though. Since I've only known Aunt Mevek I haven't had to really deal with talking and wondering about it."

Urokai snorted, "Because everyone knew everything about her already. Sis wouldn't have felt any shame 'bout it either."

"Pretty much."

He wrinkled his nose at the reply. Oh, he loved his elder sister! He really did! But she could be so embarrassing at times and it lasted even after she was gone. At least his nephews and niece weren't like that, though Idris did take after her. Ironic, since his birth had been the same date as her death.

"With Rozaria around you'll probably have to deal with similar. She's just as wild as any Agvain or Ru."

"You know about it?"

"Zarga told me." So it could either be common knowledge or just one of the countless things he knew about that he wasn't supposed to be aware of at all. The Siriana were creepy like that. They would bring up things that were supposed to be secrets or that they just weren't supposed to know because of how uncommon it was, and they'd talk so nonchalantly that one would assume they had been there. That they had the right to have that information. It was too obvious that they stalked people or had familiars stalk people but the real question was how nobody noticed. They weren't Kertia after all. There coordination scared people too but... it wasn't _that_ weird. So they hadn't revealed that the traitors had such plans because Zarga was in on it? His own clan had done the exact same thing. Some clans just cared about their own more than they did the entirety of their people.

"Oh." Claudia fiddled with her hair as she refilled their cups- "Of course he did. Did he mention it to anyone else?"

"Does his daughter count?"

She raised a brow- "Daughter?"

"He made her maybe a week ago. The cutest lil button in Lukedonia so far, though sometimes her head rolls off."

"Then no. That's fine-" she gave him his cup and he started to pile some sugar cubes in, it had to be _sweet_\- "but her head rolls off? Like she likes to roll around?"

"No. He straight up used a dullahan and decided to keep that part so if anyone ever tries to kill her by cutting her head off they'll fail. It's super weird seeing her head roll around but she's always giggling when she does so we can't stop her." It had been scary the first time or three but she was too fucking cute when she was happy so nobody could find it in themselves to catch her head. It was fine as long as they kept her from bumping into anything hard or dangerous anyway.

"That sounds interesting. I'll have to visit sometime."

Urokai smiled, taking a sip of his tea. Perfect. He never could trust anyone else to get the proper flavour in these, even Frankenstein kept messing it up. They always made everything so bitter, and the cacaua atl that Lagus had tried serving to him some centuries ago had lost any remaining respect that Urokai had had for him.

'It's a traditional drink among the humans' he had said. So he thought that blaming his own faults on the humans was okay? Fucking asshole. He should take responsibility for the things he did instead of pushing others into the fire. It was why he didn't like him. Who could possibly enjoy being around someone who couldn't hold themselves accountable? Not him. Gejutel was just a total weirdo for it, though he'd already known that from when his nephews and niece had decided to give his sister's diaries to him. To think that was a good reminder of a dead person... complete sicko. It was why he avoided those two as much as he could. Having to resist the urge to summon Dragus and poke it in their direction whenever they came close was difficult, but he managed.

"You might not see her even if you go."

"Why not?" Claudia looked genuinely curious, though he was more worried about the flowers that had started curling around her ankles. She probably knew they were there but, he just hoped she wouldn't trip. He'd just focus on his drink to distract himself from the notion.

"She likes hiding between Zarga and a cloak, so he wears those now. Doesn't come out for ages."

"Huh-" Claudia's smile was nice, no wonder Rozaria was courting her- "I'll go anyway. Even if I don't see her I can congratulate him. What's her name?"

"Feng Mian."

"Beautiful. He has a good naming sense. Better than my clan leader does."

Urokai frowned. What had Lagus done this time? Couldn't he just keep himself from ruining this every once in a while? Or did he have to leave a trail of destruction everywhere he went? It was super annoying.

"What did he do?"

Claudia chuckled, stroking one of the vines that had climbed up to her armrest. It shivered, blooming, and his frown lightened. That was always nice to see; they were like excited little kids seeking their parents' attention. This one had deep blue petals, soft silver speckled within. It was gorgeous.

"Well, aren't you just a stunning specimen," she murmured, continuing to stroke the vine- "It's nothing big. Just my name."

He stared at her blankly- "_Your_ name?"

She nodded- "Mine. It means cripple basically."

"He really is senile huh," he said, words coming out airy and any form of stress leaving him. Oh he really needed to tell Frankenstein this bullshit later.

Snorting, Claudia covered her mouth as she laughed. Urokai just drank his tea, waiting for her to calm down. She did this sometimes, and would keep laughing for a while. It wasn't bad. It meant he could notice things he usually wouldn't because of talking. Like how her skin kept on glistening whenever the candles flickered. Probably her markings. They only showed up under the light of the moon and the candles dimming meant that they weren't dominating the night. It was a shame she didn't like showing them off, they simply completed her.

Then there was the letter on her side table. He picked it up, noting that it was a scroll rather than a sheet of paper. Elenor then, so it was from... Rozaria. He'd already known her writing was beautiful and that she doodled hearts everywhere from the letters she sent him, but the exclamations of love and adoration scribbled everywhere were new. It was adorable, and definitely made Claudia's heart flutter. After all, this one was dated to quite a while back and she still kept it close to her.

"So Rozaria even sends you love letters?"

Claudia's laughter morphed into giggling at his words- "Yes. She's very romantic, and just as domineering."

Oh? Well, he knew she wasn't nearly as domineering as Claudia herself though. There was nobody who could match her except his father, but he was long gone. Still, to describe her like that Rozaria must have taken the initiative and gone all in. That sounded just like that little spitfire.

"She's pretty gifted with words in general, you'll have to work hard to keep up with her. Don't want to lose that Tradio reputation,"

"So she's not just working hard for me?"

He grinned- "Nah. This isn't her best. She and Lusar challenge each other to reciting new poems on the spot every now and then, and she's written some for me."

Humming, Claudia's had came up to her face, fidgeting as she thought- "I'll have to get the best ones out of her then. Do you remember any?"

How could he not? Urokai loved the poems from her, and would read them out to his family. Even Idris asked if he'd gotten any new ones occasionally, and he was the pickiest out of them all. Sure it could be for a completely different reason from liking the poems with how he thought but the point remained.

"Of course I do, the only ones I remember though is um...

_morning white_

_glistens_

_within _

_the_

_reach of a brighter light,_

_from sun or _

_moon's_

_own shine, who remains aware?_

_harmless teasing is_

_nothing more,_

_until_

_tears_

_fall and_

_the lesson_

_is learnt through cost of life,_

_is it_

'_help'_

_she seeks then? For herself,_

_or the dead?_

"_does she regret?"_

_I ask, and you defend_

"_hey,_

_she cries_

_and feels bad." but_

_you do not answer,_

_and I never to trust you or her,_

_again._

_Leave._

And-

_In dismal dunes of cities past,_

_There lay she, bequeathed to stone,_

_And so to grief, I am prone,_

_For she remains to me, my love, my heart._

_Was it raging fires that laid you to rest,_

_Or the common folk fearing and their abhor?_

_Rising waters that sunk and drowned or,_

_At jewelled fingers and silvered tongues behest?_

_Like the sun and moon and stars, I will return,_

_But there is nothing to seek,_

_Nothing to learn,_

_The house stays empty and cold."_

He had straightened up to recite them and collapsed back on the soft pillows when he was done. Even if he didn't have to go to this sort of trouble he doesn't really mind. The poems are nice after all, and though they aren't the easiest ones to remember they're the ones that he does because they're the first she wrote for him.

"She's only written love poems for me. That's unfair."

Urokai rolled his eyes- "And you're the only one she's written them for."

"I suppose so," Claudia said, expression complex.

She was thinking again and Urokai sighed. At this point it was better for him to leave. It wasn't like she was going to talk to him properly and he wanted to go back and get a hug from his bonded. He hadn't even dared to disturb Frankenstein because he had gone to see Ignes but if he was back it didn't apply. He was fair game then.

Standing, he only addressed her when he was at the door, "Bye Dia."

"Oh!" She turned slightly- "Visit again Urokai."

"I will."

Now just to survive his trip back.

It wasn't like the entire journey was dangerous, just the Tradio territory. Not because of the animals or plants or anything (because even if they weren't things he could deal with, he wasn't deep enough to encounter them), but because of the chance to encounter Lagus. Every moment he spent here, the possibility increased. So, as he walked down the hallway, his dread increased. Even if the plants climbing up the walls were adorable and fun to pet, they didn't assuage the dread that filled him. It seemed to grow, slowly making its way up his spine.

He just really, really, _really_, hate Lagus.

Once outside, he felt a bit better but the chance still remained high. Quickly glancing around to make sure nobody was in the vicinity, he quickened his pace. The faster he was out of this place, the better. In his hurry Urokai almost missed the presence in the clearing ahead of him. Rushing to a stop, he started to make his way around it warily. The aura was Lagus' and he had absolutely no intention to interact with him. Even if it meant having to punch him in the face or burn the place down, he'd do it right now.

Upon seeing a familiar face and that reddish-purple Tradio hair approaching, Urokai sped up. Fuck this. So what if Lagus saw him running away? He didn't care. Right now he would prefer death over talking to that asshole. Only when he was back in his clan's territory did he slow down, and only then did he process what he had seen. Hair? And hadn't Lagus looked younger?

Urokai's eyes narrowed. Oh, he _had_ to tell Frankenstein about this bullshit.


	10. Chapter 10

Upon returning home, head raging at what had happened on his visit to Claudia, Urokai was greeted to a sight that caused an even greater headache. Edian visiting was a completely normal occurrence (she would visit so often in the past. before she was drugged, before Frankenstein came. sometimes with gifts and letters and long ago when his sister had been alive, meaning the time when both of her parents had been too, with her father tagging. it had been when he was still short enough to have to get on his toes to kiss her cheek and when he'd still dress up in his skirts and dresses. when his hair still swayed by his legs, and he'd end up having to jump up because he'd sat on it in the wrong position, making his head hurt. it was when his love for flowers was obvious as it was intertwined into his braids and blouses and fingers. flowers, flowers, flowers) though this was the first time after she was off of the drugs that had been clouding her vision for so long. He'd be excited but… she and Frankenstein were sitting across the dining table, staring at each other.

Dressed in her preferred suits that had her mistaken often for some royal prince (princess when they realised she was a woman, though there were always those who denied the thought. humans were a strange lot, but he loved them all the same) she had her arms crossed as she leaned back on her chair, feet on the table, and was glaring at his bonded. It annoyed him honestly. That was an antique! Its craftsmanship was absolutely exquisite being from one of the greatest carpenters that had been born in the Agvain heir line, and she was just putting her shoes on it as if it was nothing. The absolute _disrespect_. As a Drosia one would think she'd know better. As an _old friend_ she should know better.

With a huff, he pushed her feet off- "You're going to scuff the wood and ruin it! No shoes on furniture!"

It was true that the two seemed to be in some sort of staring competition of contempt but that was no reason for them to ruin his house. All the things here were absolutely precious! Even those weird glass dicks that had been made by his aunt (his father had said they were inside jokes between her and her wife. something about humans getting the facts twisted around so badly that it wasn't even impressive anymore. just sad. he understood it to that point but didn't really know why the insides were made to be filled with dark viscous liquid that had sparkly dust inside to mimic the stars in the night sky. nice to look at if it weren't for the shapes and so they were kept away in storage with the cuter animal shaped ones out on the decorative bookshelves instead).

"I told her that," Frankenstein started out, still looking annoyed, "but she didn't listen."

"Because I'm not going to listen to some bratty upstart with a holier than thou attitude. Urokai yeah, but you?" Edian rolled her eyes, tucking her behind her ear only for it to spring back within the same moment- "No chance. I'd rather get Rayga to say those poems of his out loud than follow you into whatever shitty cakehole you live in."

In the back of his mind, the word poem echoed in confusion, but there was something that upset him much more- "Hey! He lives with me here!"

"Oh. Uh-" Edian blinked, before coughing into her hand as if to look away from him- "Right. Sorry."

"Ugh. Stop being so mean to him Edi. He's my bonded! If you don't like him then don't come here."

Maybe he was being a bit mean but he adored Frankenstein. Despite how they'd started out, he'd still tried to get to know him after the catastrophe that had been their bonding. Now he was a beloved family member. Reaching out through the bond, he sent those warm feelings to him, comforted as they were returned.

"…Fine." Sighing, Edian begrudgingly stood to plant a kiss on his cheek, making Urokai's face flush. "But only because you asked me to. I wouldn't do it for anyone else."

At that Frankenstein poured some tea for himself- "Not even for the Lord?"

Edian snickered and even Urokai smiled- "Ha! As if. I'll follow his orders as long as they make sense but this sort of shit? He's never gonna find out the type of person I am."

"Even if Raizel asked?"

Frankenstein poured some tea for Urokai too, and he sat down with him, sipping at it curiously. This wasn't what he usually drank at home, preferring the pink of the Kashmiri tea. But that was a delicacy he refused to be served and only made himself so Frankenstein had to make do with all these other ones. Even then he usually just made him a plain milk tea rather than what he was sure was some fruit tea now. Maybe one of the strange fruits of their rose gardens. Nobody except the fanatics of their clan (like his beloved cousin. bless her and the daughter she'd had recently with Hatepuna. he didn't quite know where they got the name Clotilde, but it was cute like the little one) and the historians ever seemed to know why their roses let such fruit bloom and grow alongside them, but he didn't really care that much either.

As he drank his tea, appreciating the sweetness begotten without the aid of sugar, he missed out on the conversation. Only when Edian threw one of her rapiers at Frankenstein did Urokai look up, hair frazzled and eyes wide. His bonded had caught it with ease but…

"What are you two doing? Are you both out of your mind?" Frankenstein's hand was bleeding and he could tell the wound was deep when he placed the rapier down, watching it fizzle out as it was unsummoned. "You should have just dodged, idiot! Not catch it blade first! Edi, what the fuck? Stop standing there and go get me some bandages."

Edian slinked away quietly at his words, returning with what he'd asked for. During the time Urokai had already cleaned up his bonded's wound and fussed over him. The entire time Frankenstein watched him, an amused smile on his face. Taking the strips of cloth that they used as bandages, Urokai carefully wrapped his hand up.

"Now, what the hell were you two doing?"

Frankenstein's grin widened- "I was simply asking her if she'd be able to hide her personality from Raizel with how you two are trying to get his attention. You both are already with each other-"

Again Urokai blushed, and Edian made a face at his bonded before leaning in to kiss him. He only got redder at that.

\- "so you two only need to get him now. He returns your feelings, and Edian's too. So how exactly will she conceal who she is with someone she's courting?"

"Oh-" Urokai stared with his face still bright- "You're kinda overestimating this right? It's not like we're going to be with Ser Raizel. I mean… how could we?"

"Nah, we are," Edian said. She ruffled Urokai's hair. "I'm going to court him for both of us and the rest… well. We can figure it out."

"So you're not gonna blush out of embarrassment because you're scared he'll find out that you're… you, anymore?"

At that question, she went quiet and Urokai looked between her and Frankenstein. No wonder she'd thrown her rapier at his bonded. Much as he adored him, he was a bit of an asshole at times and never phrased anything nicely. Even he could do that! But for some reason Frankenstein seemed to enjoy making others pissed. It was actually troubling the number of messes he'd created so far. Urokai didn't stop him though. After all, he never had to clean them up, and by the time he found out everything was already done, or he didn't want to delve into it knee deep. Plus, with how he was… he'd just make them worse if he tried to intervene in all probability.

Ignes seemed to look up to Frankenstein's disaster causing skills from what he knew, which was even more worrying. Again though, he didn't want to get involved. Especially with how Roctis seemed to be easing up about the whole affair.

Looking up after a few moments, Edian smirked at Frankenstein. A fast recovery, but she was never one to be defeated so easily. It was one of the reasons that she was Gradeus' favourite sparring partner. Among the nobles anyway. There was apparently some human he preferred more but Urokai didn't really pay attention much when they were talking about her so he didn't know anything.

"Well, at least you can't mock me now you damned peacock. Go back to whatever den you've built and indulge in it's stink as you sulk. I better not have to see your smug face again."

Seriously? Again?

"Edi! My house! Stop insulting it!"

This time she just ignored him, and Frankenstein laughed- "_Vulneror, non vicnor_. Anyway, stop speaking, you're really going to upset him if you keep going on like this."

"Pfft- ha!" Edian joined into his amusement. "_Aut neca aut necare_. Watch your back, peacock."

"I prefer _neca ne neceris-" _Frankenstein returned to drinking his tea, having heated it up slowly with his aura as they conversed.

"Not bad."

They continued on and Urokai just stared with confusion as waves of unwilling respect washed over him. It was a strange feeling, forceful yet relaxing, and he was absolutely uncomfortable with it all. The fact that they could go from arguing to (well, maybe it wasn't better but) civilised death threats was _weird_. And what was with the things they were saying? 'I am wounded, not defeated'? And the others were worse!

"Why are you two discussing different ways to say 'kill or be killed'? It's the same thing! That's the only meaning there! And why is it all in Latin? Do other languages suck or something?"

Both of them paused shooting the same thinly veiled death threat to each other when he spoke, and Edian shrugged. He looked to Frankenstein but his bonded took a sip of his tea, ignoring him. This… Weirdoes. Complete weirdoes. He should have gone to complain to Lî Ban at the manor instead of coming back home right away. He'd have gotten to see Clotilde and cuddle the tiny thing too, instead of dealing with whatever this was.

Wait- "Shit. I totally forgot!"

Edian took a seat, taking some tea for herself- "What? Something happened?"

"You bet something happened! Or more like I saw something but-" Urokai made a noise of disgust as he recalled everything.

He really didn't like that senile bastard, and now he wasn't even going to restrain himself. If Lagus even dared to come within distance of him, he _would_ poke him with Dragus. That was a warning even someone like him (the type with his brain fried in grease. one who couldn't tell the mood of absolutely anything. a person who couldn't be trusted with absolutely anything) should be able to understand. And if he didn't? Well that was his own fault for not knowing shit. At that point Urokai had no other action left to him but to stab the man.

\- "I went to visit Claudia and all that. So I was coming back, being careful because who the fuck wants to talk to a senile bastard like Lagus?"

"I just want to stab him."

"Right?" Urokai nodded at Edian's addition, missing the tickling amusement from her and Frankenstein. Though that was just because he wasn't ticklish.

"And what happened?" Frankenstein asked.

"Okay, so I saw Lagus, and get this bullshit-" he leaned forward, annoyance visible- "He wasn't _old_."

His bonded just blinked- "And? I thought you all could alter your appearance as you wanted?"

"It's not the same!"

"It really isn't," Edian agreed, "We can do that, though how easily depends on how our self-perception is. I can't shift at all, not even tiny changes, aside from making my eyelashes match my hair sometimes. Urokai can do a lot more, even being able to take a female form with ease."

"Ah, most of us Agvains can do that though. Maybe not anything else but, going between male and female forms or some sort of mix is super easy for us. Not for other clans except the Loyards and Tradio though."

"Then why's that a problem? Wouldn't Lagus just have…" Frankenstein frowned, and Urokai could tell easily that he was wondering whether having a flexible self-perception was good or bad.

"Yes. Except that's not the problem here peacock."

"Then tell me what is."

Urokai fiddled with a lock of his hair- "So there's some things that cause you to take certain forms permanently. Like extreme emotions might warp your body and you might not be able to shift back, stress can make your form older, or like. If a spell goes wrong or you take the wrong sort of medication or brew then stuff can happen."

Frankenstein nodded, then surmised the implicit meaning, "And what you're saying is that he said his aging was due to one of those factors. That he shouldn't be able to take a younger form."

"Yeah. That senile bastard lied to us! And for like, no reason either!"

"That is strange."

"Not cute either," Edian said. At Frankenstein's look- "Well, Gejutel has an older form as well right? So he was still in a younger one when Rousare was born. Everything was going fine except whenever, like any parent would, he kissed the lil kiddo, the poor thing burst out in tears."

"…And?" Frankenstein listened confused and gestured for Edian to continue when she stopped speaking. Urokai understood why he was confused. Even he wouldn't know the meaning of that story if it wasn't for the fact that he already was aware of the whole thing.

"Basically, he only had stubble in his younger form and that was too rough for Rousare. The beard's much softer in his older form apparently."

Frankenstein stared for a bit, then smiled- "That is cute. I'll have to tease him about it later."

Urokai grinned, before the smile collapsed- "Hey! Wait! So what about Lagus?"

"Is that really important? You said he's old, so maybe he just wants look the part."

"The peacock's got a point. It's really not important enough to do anything about it anyway."

At the lacklustre replies, Urokai wilted. So he was the only one who could tell that the bastard was up to something? Ugh, fine. He'd deal with it himself then.


	11. Chapter 11

"I don't really care," Raskreia says, and cuts out a small piece of her cake with her fork, her lips twitching up as she eats it.

It's an elegant motion. One that displays all that the type one nobles are and what they value. Not that Urokai cares about that (because why would he care about what type ones' like? except it's a lie because of course he cares. he grew up being mocked for the lack of everything that they consider important and type twos are always striving for their approval. even as they hate everything imposed on them, they crave it). Groaning as he places his head on the table, he complains and his friends (because surely that's what they are. what else could they be? they spend time with him and talk to him and put up with these actions. sure, Raskreia has to be bribed a lot of the time but she still comes and that has to mean something) just ignore his grumbling.

Claudia leans forward and pets his head even as Rozaria clings to her free arm. Though maybe that's the occupied arm and the one she's petting his hair with is the free one? Or are they both occupied? His mind goes fuzzy just thinking about it so he stops. Arakei always said if it feels bad to do something, don't do it. Not exactly her best advice since it was in the context of skipping out on their duties of going to meetings, but it works in situations like this. Probably. Maybe one day this will come to bite his ass. That day isn't today though so he can't bring himself to care though he's sure he'll regret thinking like this if it really does happen.

"Roza doesn't either but, um… I do," Claudia says and he shifts his head a bit so that he can look at her. "Since I didn't know father was shifting the entire time. It's… strange."

There's this expression on her face that could be discomfort or shock or even hurt and any of them could match the numbness it brings to the tips of his fingers. The feeling isn't a good one so he decides that he's better of not feeling others and keeps it away. Having just himself to deal with is enough of an ordeal right now. Plus, he doesn't like having to press against the cold table with the pressure of a boulder on top of someone's head to feel something. With that something often being sharp bursts of pain. He wonders how his sister dealt with it all the time, especially with it being worse for her. Maybe he should be asking Claudia instead since she can't block it off either and since she's still breathing unlike her. It's not something so easily broached though, and they've only spoken of it a few times when nobody else was around. So that's impossible with Raskreia listening to everything they say and with Rozaria clinging to her like a fly in a web.

"You didn't know? How's that even possible?"

With a smile more awkward than the ones Raskreia makes when asked to by the lord, Claudia takes a sip of her tea. If he was anyone else he'd think that she's avoiding the question (because he knows the other two think that with how Rozaria pouts and Raskreia takes a larger bite of her cake compared to the itty-bitty pieces she was having them in before) but he knows her well. Partly because she used to babysit he and his sister, partly because of that painting in her bastard father's study that matches the ones in the homes of the other clan leaders with its signature blossoms.

Those blossoms are all over Lukedonia, but these ones even have portraits in the lords' castle and that means much more. The reason the one in the study lets him know her well is because that was his sister's only spouse though, and with someone like her, the 'only' part means something. It means even if there are other people he's connected to, Claudia is family in a way that others aren't. Urokai usually ignores that it means Lagus is his brother-in-law though. That's too disgusting to think about.

She continues to drink her tea and Raskreia finishes her cake long before she'll be done. So, because his object that he bribed her with is gone, she stands and walks away. She does pause when she's at the door, having twisted the handle partly. With a glance back into the homely room that's merely dubbed the 'place where we Agvain clan leaders receive guests because it's the only room in our house that's not inelegant to the type ones' or 'the guest room' for short, Raskreia nods her head approvingly.

"Thank you for the cake. I'll be expecting another invitation soon, Urokai."

"Yeah, yeah. You can come eat my food even without an invitation," he says and she blushes as she leaves.

Rozaria laughs when she's out of the house and even Claudia giggles. It can't be helped though. How else are you supposed to take the revelation that Raskreia can be bribed with the food he makes? He's sure she'd be fine with any Agvain honestly (or just any noble because he knows the Mergas are good with food too. a bit strange since this is an area where the type twos are generally better, aside from the Loyards, but if food is one of their passions that's cool), but his clan members don't really care about talking to the daughter of the lord. At least, not when it usually means going out of their way to the castle which is in the middle of nowhere. Sure, it's technically in the middle of Lukedonia, but it's in the middle of absolutely nowhere too with how far away it is from every other clan's town.

"I never took her for being so fond of eating," Rozaria says, "Maybe I should learn how to cook too."

Urokai shrugs as he cleans up the dishes left behind on the table- "Only if you're interested in specializing in potion making too."

"Because it's similar, right? I've heard that from those who do it but I don't know…"

"It would be nice to have something to eat alongside my tea," Claudia finally speaks up, "And we do spend a lot of time together."

"Of course you two do."

He snorts at the way Claudia's cheeks go red. It doesn't stop her from kissing Rozaria right in front of him so he doesn't know why she even bothers with the whole getting embarrassed thing. She's done a lot more without hesitation that would make people's heart race even when trying to do them so it's redundant. Then again, his bonded seems to have the same sentiment about him at times. Frankenstein is a lot more vocal about it though and teases him for it.

"If it's what my beloved wants then I suppose I'll definitely have to try it out. Pleasing you is a worthy goal after all."

Claudia smiles and kisses Rozaria again. He's even more annoyed because they could at least put down their teacups while they did. Being mushy is fine but do they really have to make him afraid of the mess they might create while they do it? Sure, it's easy to clean, but it ruins the experience. At least it did for him. Not so much for Edian.

"I'll be looking forward to it, Roza."

"Don't be. Who knows what I'll end up making. I wouldn't want you to be disappointed."

He sips his tea to distract himself of the possible doom awaiting their cups- "Cooking isn't that hard. You need to have one hell of a talent to fuck up really badly so don't worry about it."

"Really? I've heard quite a few stories of out of control fires though."

Claudia coughs and it's just as fake as his slow blink. He already knows without asking where those stories are from. After all, he's heard them too. Even better, he's seen them.

"Which clans are those stories usually from?"

"The Tradio and the Agvains. Why?"

"What do they have in common about fires?" he asks.

Rozaria looks at him quizzically, and stares for a while. It's like she's analyzing him, picking him apart bit by bit like he's seen a healer do to a dead insect. It doesn't last long though and realization dawns upon her.

"Both have special fires that burn no matter what."

"Not 'no matter what'," Claudia interrupts, "they go out if we stop them, and in the case of Agvains, another way is if the person who set the fire dies."

"Yeah, so we both were smart enough to _not _use out fires right away and just use a normal one when we learnt the basics. Can't say the same about all our clan members."

"That makes a lot more sense. So it's not a problem I'll be facing at all," she muses, "Well, I'll need to research potions and decide on that anyway, so I'll be going."

She empties her teacup and kisses Claudia on the cheek before disappearing through the door. Much faster than Raskreia did too. Urokai's most relieved about the cups though. None of them were dropped and nothing was spilt on the rug or floorboards. Even Claudia's seems to be empty, which is about time because it hasn't been refilled even once. How small were her sips?

With the door wide open, Ball and Push wander in. They head straight for him, completely ignoring Claudia who perks up at seeing them, and wind around his legs. Push jumps up into his lap and Urokai pets him the way he wants it. It's comforting for him too because being with his cats has always been a way to stave off loneliness and because they're adorable. His foot's been taken up by Ball who sits on it in the way that a hen sits on her eggs.

"That's unfair," Claudia murmurs in complaint.

She watches them with softness in her flesh and bones despite how she feels. He lets her go on because he's still waiting for her to answer his question and it's better to let her take her time. The rules are simple when interacting with the Tradio. Don't lie, and don't pressure them. Not because they'll do something to you, of course not. They may be fae but they're also nobles. It's more so because doing so is rude in the same way that stealing a child's toy is rude. Nobles have their base values but they differ between the types and then they differ even further between the clans of the type twos. Though some think it's hard to learn or remember these differences, it really isn't. You don't even have to learn them. Not really. All you have to do is be kind, and that's enough to abide by them and not hurt their feelings. After all, isn't every person different too? Just being nice is enough for them, so of course it's enough for everything else. The only problem that remains is that many don't seem to understand what kindness is.

That's why there's such a large rift between the type ones and twos. It's not respect that they want but the two always get mixed up.

As he thinks, and as he enjoys the fluffiness of his cat, Claudia finally answers, "Father hasn't taken any form aside from that older one with me for a long time."

"Why didn't the plants tell you about it though?"

"They like him more."

That has Urokai confused, and it leaks through his bond. Frankenstein sends an inquiry even as warmth wraps around him but he just waves off the concern. This isn't something so important to be worried about.

"Why? You're definitely the nicer one. What, with all the betrayal business and all."

It's not just that which has him confused though. He knows that plants probably don't care about such things and that it's because of how they're treated by individuals instead. Even in that case he thinks Claudia's more suited. He's seen how she waters wilting saplings and the way that flowers perk up when she comes by. Trees croon over her and everything's just a more vibrant green.

"Urokai… Despite it all, father isn't as cruel as you make him out to be. There's nobody who cares for our garden more than him. He keeps the majority of it alive himself," she says, tone becoming wistful, "and he's the one who takes care of Danys and the meadow. He loves that place just as much as aunt Mevek did."

"…"

He knows that. He already knows that without her saying it to him but he can't bring himself to direct his anger at her. That would be cruel. Of course he knows that Lagus isn't purely evil, he's the brother-in-law that his eldest sister had adored greatly after all. It's easier to just pretend he's a bastard though. Because, no matter how much of a fool everyone takes him for, he knows who was behind the deaths of Arakei and his father. Nobody needs to know that though. Even when he's with Gradeus and wants to spit it out the way his people can spit out acid and fire, he doesn't. Because Gradeus finally has some stability with Rayga, and that would be a cruel thing to say in front of their child.

"The plants like him more than me because of that," Claudia continues, "Also because I'm better with the animals anyway. I hear that uncle was better with the plants too, but neither he nor father can make the animals speak like I can. But they don't really care about things like forms, so they're not going to bring that up with me."

Giving Push a belly rub like he wants, Urokai just nods. He smiles too, because though he really doesn't want to, it's just how it goes.

"And that's why you don't know. It makes sense I guess. You should probably ask him to stop doing it around you though; his face must get tiring to look at. It's like a tree-" with a pause and a slow blink- "Or maybe not. All you Tradios look at are trees anyway."

That makes her giggle, and he's glad at least one of them is feeling happy. Still, he guesses it's about time to start pretending to make his peace with Lagus. If only so that Claudia feels better.


	12. Chapter 12

Izil purrs, and then smacks Ser Raizel's hand.

Urokai doesn't flinch at the brief static against his skin like he once would have (when his life was dedicated to a god and not himself. when he had abandoned his braids and petals and dresses for the appearance of a worshipper. would you notice the devotion of ants in a kitchen? would you chalk up their offerings to them? would you even notice offerings? gods do not notice ants, do not hear them, do not trust them. not for hate or worry or because of cloth in their mouth or a knife to their throat, but because they are incapable of it. at most they will care for ants as a population or aid an individual at times. never will it be for deep understanding and knowing of one. gods cannot talk to ants. that only means he must become one too). Though he still respects Ser Raizel - still has him on a bit of a pedestal no matter how hard he tries to rid himself of it the way Edian did as a child – he also thinks of him as a friend.

So because they're friends he doesn't worry over his cats attacking him. It's a learning experience anyway. If Ser Raizel doesn't want to listen to him when he says not to pet the cats too hard or too much or in certain places, he can learn from the cats themselves.

There's also how he's a bit too busy to really pay attention to anything other than the diary in his hands right now. Gradeus had given him a box of them after he had gone to him and showed him the one he'd found forgotten in the Tradio library with a soft inquiry on where the others were. It had been the one that told him who had been behind the deaths of his father and sister (not because it mentioned them. no. it was because his father's last entry was that he had been invited by Lagus and that had been enough for him to piece it all together. he was easy to manipulate but that was only when he didn't know things. and when he turned his anger and wishes of death to revenge) that's left him simmering in pain all this time (but it wasn't as bad because now he told Frankenstein and Edian and Zarga. because now he wasn't left to do it alone. because now he thought of the stars for the first time since his sister's death and how in nine hundred years they'd align like they never had before in his life or even his father's).

He'd added a 'don't worry, I won't do anything. i already know. i just want them back' which had made Gradeus look like he was about to cry. It had been kinda unfair. Urokai was the one whose family had been murdered and Gradeus was the one in on it, so making that expression in front of him was cruel. Nothing had been said about it though. He'd already decided to live his life fully and though maybe that would have included revenge in the past it didn't now.

Urokai isn't the sort to steal a parent from a child anyway.

And that's why he's here, utterly absorbed in one of his father's diaries (both he and his eldest sister have so many but that's to be expected from people who write almost daily. even if it isn't much several millennia later will beg to differ and will be right. if even then you can't accept it you'll be beaten over the head with a stick or maybe a sack of bricks and either way you'll end up with a headache). It's a shame he doesn't have his sister's but those were pilfered away by her children and he doesn't want to know what plot they needed them for.

It's fine since Ser Raizel pays all his attention to his cats or to Edian who has her head in his lap. Cute is what he thought when she first did it and now he's used to how it looks though he still finds himself raising his head to steal glances at them. The cats playing are cute too and one of the newer strays he's taken in recently is on her back, begging for attention.

…

Maybe he's not that devoted to reading right now.

The cover it provides is good though. The leather is thick and the pages are large so when it's open like it is now it hides his face so they can't see his smiles. Or how he blushes when Edian flashes a grin with some flirty phrase and coils Ser Raizel's hair between her fingers. there's a fluttery heat that buries itself in his neck then and Ser Raizel's cheeks are just as red so he doesn't really mind.

Edian's too good at flirting though, and just good at adapting. Before she'd blush because she was embarrassed that Ser Raizel would find out about how crass she was (it wasn't because she liked him, that had always been him and not her, but because he was the noblesse and she was the Drosian clan leader. they worked under the noblesse, served them, were their confidantes the way that the Mergas clan leader was the lord's. wouldn't anyone be mortified if such a person was privy to such things?), now she can sit there and speak with him like she does any of them. Now she treats him just like any other person.

Urokai's not at that point yet. He doesn't know how long it'll take either, but he does know he likes seeing her treat Ser Raizel in the same way that she does Gradeus and Rayga and that human she's ever so fond of. Before he wouldn't have been fine with even that so he knows he's getting better.

There's a gentle pulse from his bonded and he smiles since he didn't even realise his happiness had leaked through. Taking a moment to feel it (soft and sweet and light), he puts his book down because there's something he wants to do.

He sits beside the two and he feels Ser Raizel stiffen momentarily. Urokai doesn't move though (before he would have. before he would have changed seats, would have apologised, would have tried not to do it again. now he knows better what Ser Raizel's movements mean. not because he's learnt them himself but because Frankenstein taught him. Urokai's not good with these sorts of tiny movements with emotions that can mean different things. he isn't like his sister or like Claudia who have the art of interpretation perfected). He doesn't say anything either. Doesn't have the confidence to. Just because he knows he wants to speak now doesn't mean he can get past the lump in his throat that blocks off any noise he tries to make.

Edian looks up at him from where she's still reclining, relaxed. There's a lazy smile and he knows she'd proud. Knows that since he's going to try and do this she'll make sure it all goes well. That she'll smooth over any jagged ends they may end up.

Her silent comfort makes him less tense by the tiniest amount but it's _something_. His hands clench the fabric of his skirt (too rough right now even though he doesn't even register how it feels most of the time), and he looks to Ser Raizel, almost jolting at how their eyes meet but settles for his fingers being numb later and becoming even paler than usual.

He's noticed that both he and Edian are here for a reason other than just spending time. For something that's going to mean more. For something that'll change things even if it doesn't change anything.

That's just how confessions are. Even if he's refused that'll be fine because at least the lump will be gone and he won't be left agonising over it. Edian and Frankenstein and even Gradeus said he won't be rejected but he knows of how Ser Raizel prioritises his job. Of how he holds his position of Noblesse above all else and that he's tried for so long no to get attached to anyone because he doesn't want to feel pain.

Urokai also knows that Ser Raizel has been trying not to let his fear hold him back as much. There was a time when he wouldn't have come over even if Urokai had had the guts to invite him. He's trying. So that's why he's going to try too.

"I..." and he wants to change his mind even though he hasn't even said anything yet.

Ser Raizel stares at him and it's too intense for his nerves so he finds his breathing quickening. His heart too and his ears think it a good idea for the pounding to be all they hear. But Edian's still here. He can do it.

"Raizel, I-" and this attempt is worse because his anxiety has him abandoning titles.

It brings a bright red to Ser Raizel's face though and that inspires some confidence. Enough to throw out the words he needs to say from the bed they lay in. They don't deserve to relax when he's here suffering.

"Would you let me court you?"

Yet he's not relieved. Urokai's said the words but now it feels as if the air is letting the weight of the world fall on his shoulders. A hand takes his (Edian's. he knows because they've held hands so many times and he knows how they feel. knows the callouses on her hands as well as he knows every corner of his home), then another and she's clasping his hand tight between hands.

She brings it to her lips and he barely manages to hear Ser Raizel's hushed, "Yes."

It's enough though.

Enough to force tears out of his eyes. They roll even though all he feels is relief and he can feel panic tingle on his skin but he blocks it off. Edian deals with it instead. Letting go of his hand, she gets up and kisses Ser Raizel, distracting him so that Urokai can digest everything. So that it's easier and not so overwhelming.

Of course she does it because she likes to kiss her lovers too and because that's the main reason, but the fact that it helps him is what's most important right now. In fact, Urokai thinks as he dumps all his joy (fiery and bubbling, sparking if he lets it build up) on Frankenstein, that he's the one best off right now.

Edian's drunk off of delight and she won't be getting sober anytime soon. Ser Raizel is a mess of frozen limbs and burning skin. It makes him curious enough to lay his palm on bare skin but even though his skin is burning it isn't hot.

"Ser Raizel," he says when Edian parts to collapse on couch, laughing deliriously, "may I kiss you?"

There's silence (of course there is. It's what he expected. even if Ser Raizel was trying to change his habits his personality remained. how could he possibly answer this with words? that's why he can squash the nervous seed that tries to grow in his stomach), no movement for almost too long (but never actually too long. It's never really ever too long) but then there's a nod.

Urokai leans in for a chaste kiss, just lips pressed against lips. He stays like that, closing his eyes, and can feel a million different things like the heat that simmers beneath and the heaviness of the light in that moment, making him dizzy. He knows Ser Raizel feels it too from his quick gasp and can envision how fast his eyes must have widened before fluttering.

Pulling away (and if he was any better at telling expressions apart he'd have known the disappointment that filled Ser Raizel's face then), he presses over Ser Raizel's lap and pulls in Edian for a kiss too. This one's harder, rougher. Her hands grab and pull at his clothes and hair and she bites his lips, making him choke on air. Ser Raizel's hand on his back doesn't help either but he's drowning on contentment not water so it doesn't need to.

It's nice giving into his emotions in this way. Nice to feel them, to let them be, to know what they are and to know why they are. It's nice to be here too with his Edian and Ser Raizel because before it was only a fantasy. But it's not and it's real and he finally remembers why so many years ago, he'd decided what his first rule would be.

He remembers, and more than that, between exchanged kisses slow and quick, he understands.

_Si vis amari, ama._

Urokai lets his lovers fill it in.

* * *

**And so it's the end ^^. I could have written on indefinitely but I thought this was a good place to finish it up.**

**On that note, 'si vis amari, ama'. I'd had that planned out since the beginning. It's been mentioned once before in chapter 3 and I'm happy with how it turned out. Urokai's finally using it right now.**


End file.
